Master Shi Heng Yi
speaker
261 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Master Shi Heng Yi’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Study again, okay? I do again. So all the time, not because I necessarily wanted all of this, it's because for the sake of my parents. for the sake of they are the ones who allowed me in the first place to in a way be alive, also thanks to them. So this was in a way my expression of what they say as long as they are alive, I listen to them.
And then walking all the way up to this academic education, then finally graduating like after 20 years, And then I just returned from the graduation back to Kaiserslautern, the city where I lived, and that was the last year I spent with my father.
So literally meaning spending so many years in this academic education for my father, and now he's not even there to witness that it has been done for him. Now, this was like a point where I thought like, Yeah, this was the one area that stuck somehow a little bit hard. And then the next things, I call it maybe small, but it's not so small apparently.
Because I grew up in, let's say, this Asian tradition with, let's say, different type of beliefs or rituals or ceremonies that we do. One of these things was that when my father was still lying in hospital, when it was clear that it's just going to take a few days until he would pass away.
He, for example, also said, well, he only said it to me because, you know, I would be the only one who is able to do it. Don't cry for me. Because he couldn't say to my mother, she cannot handle it. Couldn't say to my brother. Yeah, but because I trust in the, I trust in the.
in the tradition, the reason why not to cry when my father passed away is because we do think the body is there, the body passes away, the spirit sets itself free. And when the spirit simply realizes that all the sons are there, the families, they're crying, the spirit in a way is still bound to this realm, bound to the earth's realm, let's say.
And in order to be able to help my father actually to get on a move on quicker to move on quicker that was the reason why it is sometimes so important to don't show any grief in the moment when a beloved one like passes away yeah but all of these things yeah
spending so many years for my father then he's not there to realize it then not being able to cry and then being in all this very very hard field and always like over achieving and No problem working 16 hours a day. Well, these are all the things that made it possible to be where I am right now.
But at the same time, I just do feel like, especially in the moment now when my son started to come and all of these things, I just felt like there's a lot blocked there. Well, there's a lot that still needs to be released for the sake of my son. And, yeah. What is it you needed and when did you need it? I would call it recognition. Being recognized by my father at some point.
To finally somehow say, you did well, it's enough. But it didn't come until today. So I still keep going. I never heard it from my father. From a mother, I also don't hear it. Well, maybe in a different way, but I do think it is the father's recognition that you probably aim for. These are absolutely things that do shape my character for sure.
There is. And again, this leads to the fact of sometimes it's very, very helpful to really shut the world, shut the world out of you and spend time with yourself. And actually create what you think you were missing there. Create it because you're the one who creates it. That's exactly what I do think.
That when we were speaking about it right now, of course we could say that, what is it that I was looking for from my father? Fact is, I'm not going to hear it from him anymore. So I need to hear it, of course, by myself. And this is where it comes to all these type of practices and methods that many specialists nowadays also like emphasizing, regardless of how you call them.
Well, something like, you did well, you did enough. I see what you are doing, but now take your energy back and give it to your son. Give him everything that you feel you didn't receive from me.
I do think there will be change. And I do think there is already change. This is maybe the part where specialists nowadays would say, it's not necessarily an area of the conscious mind. I do think that these are talks right now, more dealing with subconsciously, is stored inside our, let's say, in our mind. I think this is where it plays a role, especially when it's about patterns that come up.
It's not consciously. When you're conscious enough, you can regulate already a lot. It's the subconscious things that you are not aware of that are still a part of your life. And if you wouldn't have asked about my father... I wouldn't even think about him for one month. It's all not a problem.
But I do still think that these are very, very deep layers that just translate a lot unconsciously into the way of doing things, in the way of how I see things also. And this is where I feel like it probably would help.
Yes. I do think at some extent when the 49 days, that's the period of where it's normally said don't grieve at that time, 49 days. Afterwards, I did, yes. But probably there's still a lot more to release.
So growing up, like I said, in this field of martial arts, I met a lot of masters. I met a lot of grandmasters. I always went looking for other instructors, looking for somebody outside of myself to be a mentor, to be a guide for me. But at some point, always realizing that everybody, no matter who it was, They possessed some type of skill that I wanted to learn from them.
But there was one thing that in a way, none of them in a way could help me with. And that was how do I run my own life? I can learn skills from you. I can learn skills from here. I can improve in this area, in this area.
But putting all these skills, putting all this knowledge, putting all the advice, putting it into a structure, into a frame, and then to run my own life with it, there's only one person who can do this. Yourself. And this is where I meant that Don't rely on a master for him to run your life. Don't rely on a mentor, a guide, whatever, to run your life.
Showing 221–240 of 261 · page 12 of 14
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