Matt Abrahams

Once you get above 12, 20, 100, 1,000 people, it becomes to me more anonymous.

But it's that 10 to 12 range that's most difficult.

So in terms of how you can best practice, vocalizing it is the most important part.

Say it out loud.

Say it out loud.

I'm amazingly eloquent in my mind.

I'm not always as lucky when I open up my mouth.

So you have to actually say it out loud.

We make so many assumptions in our mind and connect dots that when we actually speak it, we realize they don't do that.

Recording yourself, obviously, and listening, getting trusted others.

You just have to get it out.

And this isn't just for a big public speaking.

I mean, this is in a high stakes interpersonal communication.

Maybe I want to ask my boss for a raise.

Maybe I have to give some feedback to a colleague that's not great.

I have to practice this stuff.

And I have to think about not only what am I going to say, but I also have to anticipate the responses and maybe role play some of that as well.

You know, athletes do lots of drills.

So when they're in the game, they can play it well.

We need to do the same thing.