Matt Abrahams

I think the two most valuable skills of any conversationalist, but especially people who do what you do and what I do on my podcast, is the ability to ask questions and being willing to ask questions that are pretty rudimentary and the ability to paraphrase, to demonstrate I heard you and here's what I took away from you. You are a good conversationalist.

I think the two most valuable skills of any conversationalist, but especially people who do what you do and what I do on my podcast, is the ability to ask questions and being willing to ask questions that are pretty rudimentary and the ability to paraphrase, to demonstrate I heard you and here's what I took away from you. You are a good conversationalist.

You set up the other person to be successful. And if you do what you and I do in terms of podcasting, et cetera, you help others learn as well. So those are two critical skills.

You set up the other person to be successful. And if you do what you and I do in terms of podcasting, et cetera, you help others learn as well. So those are two critical skills.

You set up the other person to be successful. And if you do what you and I do in terms of podcasting, et cetera, you help others learn as well. So those are two critical skills.

Absolutely. I want to start. I'll answer that question by starting with the approach I think we need to take. And I learned this from a guest on my podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart. Her name is Rachel Greenwald. Fascinating person. She's an academic and a matchmaker. Really interesting person. And what she said, when you're having conversation... It's about being interested, not being interesting.

Absolutely. I want to start. I'll answer that question by starting with the approach I think we need to take. And I learned this from a guest on my podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart. Her name is Rachel Greenwald. Fascinating person. She's an academic and a matchmaker. Really interesting person. And what she said, when you're having conversation... It's about being interested, not being interesting.

Absolutely. I want to start. I'll answer that question by starting with the approach I think we need to take. And I learned this from a guest on my podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart. Her name is Rachel Greenwald. Fascinating person. She's an academic and a matchmaker. Really interesting person. And what she said, when you're having conversation... It's about being interested, not being interesting.

Many of us put a lot of pressure on ourselves to say something really interesting, insightful, and that can make it very challenging and make it very self-focused, and communication should be other-focused. So rather than think about what's the right thing to say to unlock this conversation, Just be interested in what's happening around you or something you know about the person.

Many of us put a lot of pressure on ourselves to say something really interesting, insightful, and that can make it very challenging and make it very self-focused, and communication should be other-focused. So rather than think about what's the right thing to say to unlock this conversation, Just be interested in what's happening around you or something you know about the person.

Many of us put a lot of pressure on ourselves to say something really interesting, insightful, and that can make it very challenging and make it very self-focused, and communication should be other-focused. So rather than think about what's the right thing to say to unlock this conversation, Just be interested in what's happening around you or something you know about the person.

I like to give this example. I was at a conference. We went and heard all these people speak. And then it was time for dinner and there was a cocktail party afterwards or whatever. And I'm waiting in line. Lots of people in line. There's this guy standing next to me. I have no idea who he is. And I look around the room and everybody's dressed in blue. It's not uniforms. It's just coincidental.

I like to give this example. I was at a conference. We went and heard all these people speak. And then it was time for dinner and there was a cocktail party afterwards or whatever. And I'm waiting in line. Lots of people in line. There's this guy standing next to me. I have no idea who he is. And I look around the room and everybody's dressed in blue. It's not uniforms. It's just coincidental.

I like to give this example. I was at a conference. We went and heard all these people speak. And then it was time for dinner and there was a cocktail party afterwards or whatever. And I'm waiting in line. Lots of people in line. There's this guy standing next to me. I have no idea who he is. And I look around the room and everybody's dressed in blue. It's not uniforms. It's just coincidental.

I turn to the guy and say, I missed the memo. on blue and he looks around and said the same thing. That was all it took. We had a very engaging conversation. We left the color blue almost instantly, found lots of things in common and we've now become close friends. When I travel to his part of the world, I visit him, he visits me. All you have to do is be interested and observe.

I turn to the guy and say, I missed the memo. on blue and he looks around and said the same thing. That was all it took. We had a very engaging conversation. We left the color blue almost instantly, found lots of things in common and we've now become close friends. When I travel to his part of the world, I visit him, he visits me. All you have to do is be interested and observe.

I turn to the guy and say, I missed the memo. on blue and he looks around and said the same thing. That was all it took. We had a very engaging conversation. We left the color blue almost instantly, found lots of things in common and we've now become close friends. When I travel to his part of the world, I visit him, he visits me. All you have to do is be interested and observe.

It's about being outside yourself, not inside yourself and if you do that, It changes the dynamic. The analogy I like to use is it's not like tennis or volleyball where you're trying to spike or ace the ball over the net. It's like that game of hacky sack where you've got that beanbag. And the whole idea is to serve it to the other person so they can serve it back to you.

It's about being outside yourself, not inside yourself and if you do that, It changes the dynamic. The analogy I like to use is it's not like tennis or volleyball where you're trying to spike or ace the ball over the net. It's like that game of hacky sack where you've got that beanbag. And the whole idea is to serve it to the other person so they can serve it back to you.

It's about being outside yourself, not inside yourself and if you do that, It changes the dynamic. The analogy I like to use is it's not like tennis or volleyball where you're trying to spike or ace the ball over the net. It's like that game of hacky sack where you've got that beanbag. And the whole idea is to serve it to the other person so they can serve it back to you.