Matt Abrahams

Yeah. Dale Carnegie definitely talked about that. Yes.

chirping on you haven't applied or curated your message to the audience also all of this stuff is intention structure but spontaneous spontaneity yes i i talk a lot about attention and intention you have to pay attention you have to do your work and then from there clearly create your intention So that you can connect, engage, and be successful in your communication.

chirping on you haven't applied or curated your message to the audience also all of this stuff is intention structure but spontaneous spontaneity yes i i talk a lot about attention and intention you have to pay attention you have to do your work and then from there clearly create your intention So that you can connect, engage, and be successful in your communication.

chirping on you haven't applied or curated your message to the audience also all of this stuff is intention structure but spontaneous spontaneity yes i i talk a lot about attention and intention you have to pay attention you have to do your work and then from there clearly create your intention So that you can connect, engage, and be successful in your communication.

When I say know your audience, it doesn't mean to then just broadcast to your audience everything you know about them. It means to deeply think about and convey information that's relevant to them. And a great way to do that is just to ask questions and let them tell you and have them help you. You know, communication is truly bidirectional. It's not one way.

When I say know your audience, it doesn't mean to then just broadcast to your audience everything you know about them. It means to deeply think about and convey information that's relevant to them. And a great way to do that is just to ask questions and let them tell you and have them help you. You know, communication is truly bidirectional. It's not one way.

When I say know your audience, it doesn't mean to then just broadcast to your audience everything you know about them. It means to deeply think about and convey information that's relevant to them. And a great way to do that is just to ask questions and let them tell you and have them help you. You know, communication is truly bidirectional. It's not one way.

Well, let me tell you two things that come to mind. So academics have identified this theory they call the spotlight effect. So we all walk around carrying this spotlight that we see shining on us. And we think everybody else is following that light. So they're all looking at us in the spotlight. But the reality is we're all walking around with our own spotlights.

Well, let me tell you two things that come to mind. So academics have identified this theory they call the spotlight effect. So we all walk around carrying this spotlight that we see shining on us. And we think everybody else is following that light. So they're all looking at us in the spotlight. But the reality is we're all walking around with our own spotlights.

Well, let me tell you two things that come to mind. So academics have identified this theory they call the spotlight effect. So we all walk around carrying this spotlight that we see shining on us. And we think everybody else is following that light. So they're all looking at us in the spotlight. But the reality is we're all walking around with our own spotlights.

There's a New Yorker cartoon where you literally see like, you know, in hospitals where people carry around those IV bags when they walk around. It's a cartoon that shows people walking around with their own spotlights. And the point is this, and the research bears this out, we are so self-focused and worried about how others see us that we're not spending enough of our attention to others.

There's a New Yorker cartoon where you literally see like, you know, in hospitals where people carry around those IV bags when they walk around. It's a cartoon that shows people walking around with their own spotlights. And the point is this, and the research bears this out, we are so self-focused and worried about how others see us that we're not spending enough of our attention to others.

There's a New Yorker cartoon where you literally see like, you know, in hospitals where people carry around those IV bags when they walk around. It's a cartoon that shows people walking around with their own spotlights. And the point is this, and the research bears this out, we are so self-focused and worried about how others see us that we're not spending enough of our attention to others.

So the fear is unfounded. The spotlight effect is saying our concern about others' perceptions of us is unfounded. The other piece that I think is interesting based on what we've said, people who study conversations look at turn-taking. And there are really two types of turns. Because if you think about it, a conversation is I speak, you speak, et cetera. We're turn-taking.

So the fear is unfounded. The spotlight effect is saying our concern about others' perceptions of us is unfounded. The other piece that I think is interesting based on what we've said, people who study conversations look at turn-taking. And there are really two types of turns. Because if you think about it, a conversation is I speak, you speak, et cetera. We're turn-taking.

So the fear is unfounded. The spotlight effect is saying our concern about others' perceptions of us is unfounded. The other piece that I think is interesting based on what we've said, people who study conversations look at turn-taking. And there are really two types of turns. Because if you think about it, a conversation is I speak, you speak, et cetera. We're turn-taking.

There are two types of turns. There are supporting turns. And then there are turns that shift, shifting turns. So a supporting turn might be that you tell me you just came back from Hawaii. You took a vacation to Hawaii. And I, a supporting turn, would say, oh, what island did you visit? Or I could use a shifting turn where I say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica.

There are two types of turns. There are supporting turns. And then there are turns that shift, shifting turns. So a supporting turn might be that you tell me you just came back from Hawaii. You took a vacation to Hawaii. And I, a supporting turn, would say, oh, what island did you visit? Or I could use a shifting turn where I say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica.

There are two types of turns. There are supporting turns. And then there are turns that shift, shifting turns. So a supporting turn might be that you tell me you just came back from Hawaii. You took a vacation to Hawaii. And I, a supporting turn, would say, oh, what island did you visit? Or I could use a shifting turn where I say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica.

Do you see how that shifts the topic? What the research shows is that many of us use more shifting turns than supportive turns, but The research also shows when you use more supporting turns, you actually endear, connect, and get deeper with the person.