Matt Marr

Yes.

And he's like, okay, well, you're right.

Not everything they print about me is true.

And Santa goes, yeah, I hear you.

Everybody knows who you are, but nobody does.

And so now it's this weird waiting for Godot existentialism that we're in, and no one knows where we are.

And he's like, you ever have someone significant in your life?

Maybe.

Well, there's this girl, and her daughter's taking lessons here, and she turned me down.

She had her reasons.

Like what?

Maybe she's just gun shy.

I don't know.

And he's like, it's funny.

You know, like, I don't know.

I feel like I can just talk to you.

Everywhere I go, it's like she's right here in front.

Also, why is she staying in this costume longer than necessary?

I feel like if I were leading a double life and I was dressed as Santa Claus and I'm not Santa Claus and I'm actually a woman and my boss is a guy who's actually wooing me in my other version of my life, I would be trying to get away as quickly as possible.

I'm not trying to sit in the resort restaurant having flaming candy canes.