Matt McCusker

adults it's a hard it's hard for adults yet in this country but i was thinking about that lady getting adopted and like that's the move like babies have the ultimate rights like babies boom instant citizenship if you can adopt so what i want to do is set up an adoption program where you adopt like a child from like el salvador but then the deal is the child's whole family comes like whole ecstatic like mom dad

uncles, aunts, all the kids come. So as part of the deal is you can adopt the kid, but you can sponsor a whole El Salvadorian family. But you have to have the means. But then it becomes like a vassal thing where they become your vassals. Cool. Hold on. Hear the whole idea out. So they come. You set them up. They have citizenship. They have total citizenship. It's more of a indentured servitude.

uncles, aunts, all the kids come. So as part of the deal is you can adopt the kid, but you can sponsor a whole El Salvadorian family. But you have to have the means. But then it becomes like a vassal thing where they become your vassals. Cool. Hold on. Hear the whole idea out. So they come. You set them up. They have citizenship. They have total citizenship. It's more of a indentured servitude.

They have to sell merch after shows. But no, you get to tax them. So you grant citizenship. You pay what it is. Imagine that, dude. You have a casita and you have your vassals. They're free to work, do their thing. They can build their own empire. And what the ultimate showdown is, the adopted kid

They have to sell merch after shows. But no, you get to tax them. So you grant citizenship. You pay what it is. Imagine that, dude. You have a casita and you have your vassals. They're free to work, do their thing. They can build their own empire. And what the ultimate showdown is, the adopted kid

As soon as he turns 18, if he outperforms your own bio kid, the whole empire goes to the El Salvadorian kingdom, and your kid has to fight back then. He becomes that vassal for the El Salvadorian family. If he outproduces their offspring, he goes back and forth. It's kind of like a kingdom. Kind of tight. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. There's a lot of holes.

As soon as he turns 18, if he outperforms your own bio kid, the whole empire goes to the El Salvadorian kingdom, and your kid has to fight back then. He becomes that vassal for the El Salvadorian family. If he outproduces their offspring, he goes back and forth. It's kind of like a kingdom. Kind of tight. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. There's a lot of holes.

I don't know where to start with this one. I couldn't sleep last night. I know it sounds rough. Slavery for a generation and then you switch. Not slavery. Dude, they're free market players. They're just getting taxed. They're your subjects.

I don't know where to start with this one. I couldn't sleep last night. I know it sounds rough. Slavery for a generation and then you switch. Not slavery. Dude, they're free market players. They're just getting taxed. They're your subjects.

But they are free market players. It's feudalism. It's feudalism. Yeah. Like modern feudalism, but with the opportunity. They would light a fire under your kid's ass. You'd be like, bro. I don't know. I feel like every kid would get crushed. Every futile kid would be like, yeah. Yeah, tell them to sell the merch. Yeah, but they couldn't if they did that. Dad, Papa, they're not selling the merch.

But they are free market players. It's feudalism. It's feudalism. Yeah. Like modern feudalism, but with the opportunity. They would light a fire under your kid's ass. You'd be like, bro. I don't know. I feel like every kid would get crushed. Every futile kid would be like, yeah. Yeah, tell them to sell the merch. Yeah, but they couldn't if they did that. Dad, Papa, they're not selling the merch.

They gave me nothing to talk about on my podcast, Papa. I don't know. It was just an idea. We don't have to do it. No, we don't. We shouldn't. But it's not a bad plan. It's fair to be like, bro, I'm going to foot the bill. You guys are total citizens, but I'm going to tax you. You have to pay tax on tax, my tax, for one generation. I'm going to tax you. It's like a pyramid scheme with immigration.

They gave me nothing to talk about on my podcast, Papa. I don't know. It was just an idea. We don't have to do it. No, we don't. We shouldn't. But it's not a bad plan. It's fair to be like, bro, I'm going to foot the bill. You guys are total citizens, but I'm going to tax you. You have to pay tax on tax, my tax, for one generation. I'm going to tax you. It's like a pyramid scheme with immigration.

Yeah. Wouldn't be bad. That's how the pyramids were built. True. Yeah, true. Literally, you're reverting back to ancient ideas. I own this family. Yeah, you wouldn't own them. You'd be sponsoring them and taxing them. You'd sponsor them. Fair tax. Which is, I'm sure, what the guy said back then.

Yeah. Wouldn't be bad. That's how the pyramids were built. True. Yeah, true. Literally, you're reverting back to ancient ideas. I own this family. Yeah, you wouldn't own them. You'd be sponsoring them and taxing them. You'd sponsor them. Fair tax. Which is, I'm sure, what the guy said back then.

It's not. You're making it sound worse than it is. True. I built them a house. They live in a house I built. You'd be excited for the wedding. You'd be like, oh, wedding, huh? Let me go by and see what's going on here. As Lord of the... It's Optimum Noxus. How was Optimum Noxus last night? Sick.

It's not. You're making it sound worse than it is. True. I built them a house. They live in a house I built. You'd be excited for the wedding. You'd be like, oh, wedding, huh? Let me go by and see what's going on here. As Lord of the... It's Optimum Noxus. How was Optimum Noxus last night? Sick.

yeah i short-circuited i had a line last night i forget what it was but i like just botched it retried it re-botched it and then finally just waved the white flag and was like guys we're skipping that one yeah completely done yeah jokes out right it would have been good but i ruined it but yeah i had a uh i had an ambitious night stand-up wise i got done and i just smoked a giant joint and i was like oh i said i would do optimum noctis and i just ran over there i was just like yeah yeah what's up guys

yeah i short-circuited i had a line last night i forget what it was but i like just botched it retried it re-botched it and then finally just waved the white flag and was like guys we're skipping that one yeah completely done yeah jokes out right it would have been good but i ruined it but yeah i had a uh i had an ambitious night stand-up wise i got done and i just smoked a giant joint and i was like oh i said i would do optimum noctis and i just ran over there i was just like yeah yeah what's up guys

Yeah, it's always fun. Yeah, it was. I did that for a few years in New York. Yeah. Oh, shit, I have four more spots tonight. Oh, shit, I'm fucking hammered. Oh, crap, I didn't think about this. Yeah, that was fun. I tried some new stuff. Dude, Albany was nuts. What was up with Albany? I did Albany and Buffalo this weekend. The crowds were... Oh, yeah. They were fucking crazy people.