Matt Rodriguez-Payne

Today, I am doing a broadcasting outside, inside.

In my role as Radio Borchester's social correspondent, I am at Lady Elizabeth Laure Locksley's 60th birthday, a glittering event full of glamour.

Well, not really.

This is Borchester.

Lots of men in dinner jacket, what have gone a bit green from being at the back of spare room wardrobe for too long.

And ladies with big hunting bottoms in the dress they think of as new, even though they bought it for their daughter wedding and she has been divorced for seven years.

Let's see if we can find someone glamorous to talk to.

But before that, let's talk to Ruth.

The canapés?

So, can you tell our listeners who you are wearing this evening?

It's what they say at the Oscars.

Which designer...

Well, you look...

Extraordinary.

Ah, now here is a lady who is a shining star of Borchester Social Services.

But why have you brought your own drink trolley, Lillian?

There are so many waiters going around with lower Loxley wine.

Oh, yes.

She work at the garden centre at weekend.

Lots of my ladies go to her for their dresses.