Matteo Lane
speaker
178 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Matteo Lane’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I know. Sometimes, well, you know, it's a catch 22, right? Cause it's like, there's, I'm happy to, I'm happy to talk about that. I also talk about that, but then sometimes it's like you do interviews and it's like an hour of it. And like, no, I get it. Like, it's a good, it's a good moment to like, if someone has questions, like I'm happy to answer. Sure. But then also to like, I also write jokes.
Yeah.
For real? Spanish people think I sound like Mario and Luigi because my accent's so Italian. The French never respond back to French. And I could speak the best French I possibly could, and they always answer back in English. One time, after my show in Paris, this woman was talking. I thought she was Sicilian, and we were speaking French.
And like 15 minutes in the conversation, she's like, Mais vraiment? And I was like, why is she so nice to me? And then I found out she was from Morocco. I was like, well, that's why she's nice. She's not from Paris. And then Germany, forget it. They're just so like, I was like, my friend Francesco Di Carlo always opens for me when we would do, when I do Europe tours.
Is that from your family? Yeah, we have family and family friends in Sicily. And so I would stay with them. My friend Giovanni and his family were like cousins. And then my family's like in their early hundreds. And they live in like the middle of a town. There's like a donkey house. And so I would just go there every summer and you just come back and then you just speak Italian. Wow. I know.
And then you get a knack for it and you learn every other language? Well, the Italian unlocks all romance languages because it's the closest to Latin. So the best language for an Italian to learn next would be Spanish because they're so close. but then also French because Italian and French are actually closer than Italian and Spanish. They're 89% the same. Italian and Spanish are 82% the same.
So like the grammar of Italian and French is more in common. Like they're more difficult, but then phonetically it's closer to Spanish. So like hearing Spanish is easier, but then reading French is easier. So sometimes when I speak whatever version of French I speak, I just speak Italian and put a French accent on it and it works. Wait, they're 82% close?
Are you duolingoing it?
she goes you're a meathead to begin with you're a flintstone character me ice more ice well when i was in mexico a couple a month ago a couple months ago for new year's god what it's almost april okay so for new year's you could hear like i was getting a massage on the beach and i was like speaking spanish my dad's from my grandpa's from the same part of mexico uh puerto vallarta is from jalisco really so yeah i'm a quarter mexican i know but i look like jafar
And but anyway, so I was speaking Spanish with this woman, Maria. She's getting a massage. I was super nice and stuff like, oh, my grandpa's from here. Like, I'm also from. And then I just I can hear this like white woman shimmy her way up. She's probably two weeks into dueling. It's a contest. And then her husband goes, I need muy strong hands. I'm like, all of you are fucking pieces of shit.
And Maria responds back in perfect English. She's like, okay, well, you know, I'm like with somebody right now. Then the daughter comes up. Yeah, hola. So like, I need like, and then at one point I just turned my head and I was like, guys, what are you doing? I'm trying to relax. And then they're like walking away.
The mom's like, we asked too many questions, but I'll never forget her saying, I need muy strong hands. You fucking idiots. They're all hacks. That's me. Yeah, yeah. Well, let's speak a very basic Spanish to each other. Because my Spanish is like... Say something to me in Spanish.
That's a lot.
Okay. Well, it's really simple. Okay. It's like really basic. Hola. Hola. ¿Cómo estás? No, solo como... Bueno, Esther, okay. Pero estoy bien. Gracias. ¿Y tú?
¿Qué haces? Nada. ¿Y tú? Nada.
wait I just realized that's what George does when I go it's turning into like if you're just like wearing a sash like a leopard print sash and you're in a cave by the way if you ever had the Spanish class churros y chocolate you're like he's gonna ask if he wants to borrow a pencil no no no tengo oh yo tengo solamente un lapiz okay No, pero tú puedes hablar muy bien español.
Sí, gracias. Lo aprendí porque estaba hablando italiano cuando era más pequeño.
Da. Dosvidanya. I learned that from Anastasia.
Do I... Sisters?
Okay, but sisters.
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