Matthew Hussey

That, especially in a long-term relationship, that's not a fair thing to do to our partner.

I think we owe it to ourselves and to them to create the closure of, here's what I'm really struggling with.

And I'm bringing this to you because I actually care about this relationship.

And I feel safe enough to bring it to you and to have that conversation.

But it's really affecting me.

And this is really, you know, it's affecting me in this way, in this way, in this way.

I need us to work on this.

I need us to take this seriously.

Whatever that means, whether you and I do it, whether we do it with a coach or a therapist, whatever we do, I need us to take this seriously.

This needs to be a priority for us.

You and me looking at the problem, not me looking at you as the problem.

You and me together looking at the problem and saying, this is an issue.

Can we figure this out?

I think then if over a series of months you're like, I haven't got a partner in this process or things aren't getting better, one or the other, then you might make that decision.

But even if you realize you do have a partner in the process but it doesn't get better, at least your partner doesn't wake up one day to a complete ambush.

of having no idea any of this was a problem.

And then all of a sudden they get hit with it all today.

I think we owe it to each other for someone not to be surprised on the day that it ended about the things that made it end.

And a lot of that, a lot of our fear of saying the thing that feels unspeakable is our desire for control.

We're trying to control the situation.