Matthew Hussey

A lot of us, and listen, no judgment, because I've done this several times in my life, and I'm not proud of it, but we are trying to protect ourselves

And so we hold back and hold back and hold back and hold back.

In the meantime, by the way, we're grieving.

We're grieving the relationship.

We're just not telling them that we're grieving the relationship, or vice versa.

I've also been on the other side of this, and so have many of you.

That's why someone can break up with you, and then two weeks later, they're with someone else.

And you're like, how is that possible?

How is it possible that you moved on so fast?

They didn't move on so fast.

They broke up with you six months ago.

You're just hearing about it today.

That's because they were trying to control it.

It felt safe to them to control it until the last possible minute when they felt safe to leave.

And then they left, but their controlling of it is what makes it such a traumatic thing for us and vice versa.

So sometimes when we are unhappy in a relationship, we have to relinquish some control and allow things to break to maybe get better or not.

But once you break it in some way with your partner in the process, you're also now not fully in control of the situation because they can't unknow what they know.

Now that makes us have to live a little more dangerously, but that also might be the thing that makes us attracted to our partner again, because now that they know, they might start doing some things, and you may not even love everything they do, but it might make you start to feel that jolt of like, you know, something again.

I don't, listen, don't keep it going for like a year.

But like give it maybe a month to settle in.