Matthew Hussey

That was something you decided to change.

and you couldn't stick to it.

Now imagine being with someone who cheated, and even though they're sorry because it's inconvenient right now that the relationship is falling apart, they don't actually want to change the fundamental part of them that made them cheat in the first place.

If they don't want to do that work, there's no amount of forgiveness on your side that will make any difference to this relationship whatsoever.

So be forgiving.

That's a very kind and compassionate act.

Don't be a fool.

It's a wonderful thing that you have gotten to that point in your life where you know who you are.

You've done all of this work on yourself.

and that there's a safety that you have created in the life that you have built.

What I hear is that there's this other part of your life that you really want, that you keep saying you want, but it represents an area of life that you can't control the way you can control everything else.

You can control your work.

You can control how you take care of yourself.

You can control the food you eat.

You can control, you know, if one friend lets you down, you put your effort on another friend.

Like, you've built all this safety.

But at a certain point, what you call independence is really a desire to keep clinging to control.

And by the way, that would be fine, Piavette, if you were incredibly content and happy and wanted nothing more from your life.

But you do want something more, which is why you stood up in front of this whole room and expressed a desire to find a relationship.

So you want more, but you're afraid of what a relationship could bring.