Matthew Hussey

These are my values.

This is what I want.

This is what I'm not willing to deal with in a relationship.

And be willing to say, maybe this isn't the right fit.

If you don't have the same or similar standards, and if you're not willing to fully accept all of me, my past, my shames, my insecurities, et cetera, then maybe we're not the right fit.

But that means I might not be with a great person in front of me.

And that's a scary thing.

But it was scary, but it also set me free when I made the decision like, okay, I'd rather be free and be fully myself, authentic to myself, than trying to please and change who I am to be with someone to have them like and love me.

And that set me free to say all the conversations I wanted to.

And it was like the more honest and hard conversations I had, it was like the more she fell in love with me.

They used to scare you in the past.

And their happiness or their joy, yeah.

And was there something you'd like, did you try to communicate this in previous relationships?

And that was all my fault.

Oh, really?

You never tried to even say it.

And someone was mad at you.

No, I, I think like two hours.

Really?

But how do we learn the skill of expressing our needs and having a hard conversation without the fear of some blow up or backlash happening?