Matthew Hussey

You never know what your life's going to be because someone else is running it for you.

Ever been in a relationship where you didn't feel that someone was affectionate in the ways that you needed, or where you didn't get the touch that you needed, or the sex that you needed, or whatever it was?

Think of a relationship

where your standard, although it wasn't a standard then, but your need wasn't met.

I bet you it was a special kind of torture.

And when we're first out of a relationship like that, we're very connected to that torture.

And that can make us say never again.

But the longer we're single, the longer we're on our own, the more disconnected we become from the pain of that and more connected we become to the pain of being alone and to the fear of never finding someone.

But it's a false economy to lower our standards in order to get someone quicker because going slow is faster.

Going slow is faster.

When it comes to love, going slow is faster.

You know what's slow?

Like ending up in the wrong relationship for five years.

Losing someone in month three because you realize you're not on the same page.

or going slow when someone else is trying to like, you know, go full throttle who you met last night and is already telling you how amazing you are and how they can't wait to see you again and how they want to have your babies.

It's like, it can feel like, oh, this is, in some way, we know there's something wrong with that, but also kind of it feels nice because it's like, this is exactly, like finally someone's at least like this into me.

So it can feel weird to put the brakes on somebody else, but we go slow to go fast.

You can only know someone's impact in the beginning.

You can't know their character.

I don't care how great they were on a date.