Matthew Kohut

You also have to be able to put yourself out there a little bit.

And that's one of these judgments that people really prioritize when they're figuring out, hey, are you worth my time?

Should I listen to you?

Should I follow you?

But the other judgment, warmth, is just as important.

And I think this is one where it's really tricky sometimes to think about what does that look and feel like in a work setting, for instance, because warm sounds, well, warm, right?

And the way I define it is that you're showing people you share their concerns, their interests and their emotions, or at least you understand those things and you're accounting for them.

You know, it's one thing to be really strong and all about yourself.

And it's a very different one to show people that you are other centered as well.

And you can really put yourself in their shoes.

And most of us tend to leave with one of these or the other.

as a default, the same way some people are lefty or righty.

And the other hand has got to be reasonably coordinated so you can pick things up with both, but one will always come more naturally.

And so when I talk to people about this, I often say, I describe what I think of as this strength axis or this warmth axis and say, which one of these comes more naturally to you?

And invariably people know, either they're a people person or they're kind of skill first.

And then the question is, how do you strike the balance that your context requires of you?

Because every context is different.

If you're a leader of a scientific organization, it's really different than if you're a leader in, say, a shipping company.

And you're talking to people differently, you have different concerns, and there are just different qualities that leaders need in different places.

Leadership is so context-specific.