Matthew Muehling

Yeah, so as I was walking, I was stupid.

Like, I just had my phone out using GPS, and I'm like... Oh, yeah.

Fuck.

And then I... Yeah, as I'm walking, there were, like, two guys sitting on a stoop, and they ran in opposite directions.

I was like, okay, this is interesting.

And then they came back with AKs.

Yeah.

They speak Portuguese and English with like, fica, fica, fica, fica, which means stay in Portuguese.

And so I had my phone and I was just like, you know.

Well, it was frustrating because it was like a five foot two inch.

It was like Kevin Hart was robbing me, you know.

It was like, it was really emasculating.

Yeah.

And then one of the guys, when he was emptying my pockets, I did have my sunscreen on me.

You know?

But what happened was the guy dropped it, and that panicked the other guy with the gun, and he, like, hit me and, like, put it.

So I was at the border of the DRC, and I was walking, and guys walked by me, and it was a fisherman group.

So it was, like, one guy's carrying fish, another three are carrying machetes.

So that sounds bad, but it's not terribly uncommon in that part of the world.

You see people walking with machetes.