Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Redneck Company Live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Get over here. Tony H. Glenn!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives? the best damn band in the land. Fernando Castillo, Raul Vallejo, Carlos Sosa, Michael Gonzalez, Nachos Belgrande, Matt Muehling on the electric guitar.
Chapter 2: What are the highlights of the sponsors mentioned?
Make some fucking noise for the band. John Dees on the keys. And this right here is D Madness live in the flesh, ladies and gentlemen. This episode of the world's number one live podcast is brought to you by Shopify, Talkspace, PrizePix, and Quo. What an amazing show we have for you. You guys excited to be here?
Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made tonight's show possible.
Welcome to the end, everybody. It's a storytelling show. Me and my comedian friends, we're all telling true and really terrible stories. Into a toddler's face. Wild face sometimes.
Regretful.
Every STD. Horrible. I'm gonna fuck you up. And amazing stories.
We just got started.
I'm gonna stop the terrorists.
You're in trouble, best friend. It's gonna be a good night.
It's gonna kill us all.
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Chapter 3: What kind of stories do the comedians share?
Dedrick Flynn. How fucking awesome is that? That is fucking... You have another one. You never take a week off. Never. And you just keep doing it. Every time I bring you out, I get a little more nervous each time, and I have nothing to be afraid of. You got to let that shit go, don't you mind? I don't duck no smoke. I want to come out here and rip every single fucking time.
I absolutely love it, Dedrick. Buying debt is something that happens, yet I've never heard anyone joke about it. Fantastic new material. Absolutely incredible. I'm trying not to cry right now, my bad, Tony. Just... Jelly, Nick.
Black people love sweets.
Yeah, we do. We do. Did you dye your hair? Oh. So it looks like shit on purpose. Come on. I'm not doing that. That's a joke. I don't roast. That's not me. Be nice, Dedrick. Be nice to the guest, Dedrick. I'm sorry. Dedrick's like a pit bull. Jelly Roll, it mean a lot for me to see you tonight because you do songs. One of my best friends had told me to start doing comedy, Teddy Swims.
And we were both just two broke motherfuckers in Southside, Atlanta. He told me to start doing comedy. I told him to start doing a band. And now look at both of us who live in our fucking dreams. Let's go. That dad shit is crazy to me.
Teddy is the homie homie, too. I love you, Teddy, baby. Yeah, Teddy!
That's bad. How'd you become friends with Teddy Swim since you can't? It's not my fault I can't. I just never had the opportunity when I wanted to learn. Because you only want to learn swimming at the early ages. After that, it's just drowning or not drowning. Right. And so that, but he wasn't swimming. He was just Teddy when we was growing up. It was always, like, Teddy and Daddy.
Like, it was my homeboy. Because when I met him, he was Jayden. And then he went by Teddy. And it was always, like, Teddy and Daddy coming out. And, like, in Southside, we were always, like, running around with the same crews and stuff like that. But he was just singing. like, just, like, open mic karaoke. And I was like, bro, you have the best voice I've ever heard in my life.
You need to do something with it. And when I said that, he said, you're the funniest person I ever met. You need to do something with it. So that's what, honestly, what kept me going through signing up for Killa Tony 39 times. It's just like, the day I got picked, when I walked out of the Uber, they were playing Loose Control.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of the upcoming events mentioned?
He gave us a little Jesus. Yeah, I gave a lot more Jesus than that. I said, we was in South Atlanta. We was sitting over there with nowhere to go. Drinking the Four Locos with the caffeine in it. I said, drinkin' the four locos with the caffeine in it. I said, drinkin' the four locos. We didn't hear you, Pastor. I said, the fire. I said, I said, not a little bit. I said, all the caffeine.
Wow. Unbelievable. Dedrick, you got the show started yet again. Unbelievable work, and it has begun. And now, we begin the amazing adventure. In to the bucket we go. This is where anything can happen. Could be the next great talent, could be the next crazy person that signed up for the show without preparing. Anything can happen. Make some noise for your first bucket poll of the night.
Michael A. Keaton, everybody. Michael A. Keaton.
You know how embarrassing it is to be named after a Batman and having to hobble out here like the penguin? Oh man, it's an interesting life. So many people, they assume that they know what my politics are gonna be. They're like, look at this guy. He has to lean right. Oh man, you guys are fun. I became a homeowner recently. Yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you. It's a Rav Fort. Oh, man.
I live in it, so it's more of a Rav Fort, okay? I'm getting older in my life. Like, you know, I've gotten to the point, I think, like, my favorite candy now are cough drops, you know? They're just menthol-flavored Jolly Ranchers, you know? I've hit the point in my life where it's like, I'm pretty sure the only reason I masturbate is for prostate health, you know?
Like, my partner walks in on me. He's like, what are you thinking about? I'm just sitting there like, cancer.
All right, thank you. Hell yeah. Michael A. Keatson. This is your Kill Tony debut, correct? Yes. I'd remember if I'd seen you before. Theo, what do you think about this guy? Yeah, I think he's great.
Sorry, that's just a reaction. Let me think what I... No, I think it's crazy to have a wooden leg and look like a guy who could make a wooden leg.
Yeah, you do have cobbler energies. There's no doubt about it. Oh, man, thank you. What's your injury?
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Chapter 5: What does T. Austin do for work now after being a drug dealer?
I hear everything you're saying, brother. T. Austin, what do you not do for work?
What do I not do for work? Well, I am a retired drug dealer. I used to sell marijuana.
Okay.
But then it became legal and them bitches took it from my pocket.
Chapter 6: What are the different types of customers T. Austin encounters while giving out samples?
But now I work at a grocery store and I give out samples to nice folks like you white people here in front of me today.
All right, look at you working at the grocery store. See, nice. Yeah, I'm broke than a bitch. I need a job, son.
Chapter 7: What humorous stories does T. Austin share about his past experiences?
Let's check in.
And who likes a sample the most? Who's the most, when you're in there, if you're working like in the, if you're in the sample streets, who is the person that, you know what I'm saying? Take me through some of them samplers.
All right, so look, I got folk that come through. I got my everyday people that, let me try.
Your what people? Let me talk a little bit clearer. Yes. So I have everyday people that like to come in and they will eat what I make because it is very, very delicious, but the sumbitches don't buy it.
Chapter 8: How does T. Austin reflect on his journey and the challenges he faced?
I don't care about you loving what I make. I care about you buying it. But putting a smile on people's face, just like I'm doing with y'all.
There you go. All right. There's a lot there. We love the enunciate.
You asked the question. And who the worst people that come through there? Who's the worst type of sampler?
Yeah, if you had to describe what they look like.
Ooh, check this out.
I won't, but I'll describe their pocket. They got a lot of money.
All right. People with a lot of money be mean as fuck. Really? What's the meanest thing anybody's ever said to you while you're handing out sales?
Oh, you know what? You didn't do it, and I was surprised because I heard about you, but I didn't take it like that. But they come up and they say, my brother. Yeah, I get it. Yeah.
I'm not your brother. I don't know you. And I tell them, no, sir, I do not understand what you're saying to me right now.
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