Meagan
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
It's so awful, the thoughts that you have when you are a mom.
You should love your baby and all of your babies and be a mom.
It should be that simple.
But it is so... It's just not.
And I don't know why I was the one that had to do these things.
But I started to have very bad dreams at night where I would be harming the...
other children, her older brothers and sister.
And I would be spanking them or getting them in trouble.
Usually I was spanking them though.
And they just weren't crying hard enough.
They weren't getting hurt enough.
And so I would be
abusing them, just being so aggressive.
And I would wake up and I would be like, oh my gosh, you need to calm down.
That's enough of that.
You don't need to be doing that.
And then those thoughts would plague me all day.
I would think of the dream that I'd had that night where I beat my children.
And so I'm like, that's so awful.