Mel Robbins

This didn't happen to that person.

Why do grief and anger tend to travel together?

Me too.

What's a healthy way to express it?

You know, one of the things that I think about is that when my husband's dad died, it was due to complications of a surgery that they rushed to have.

And in the aftermath of his death, there were so many what ifs.

We should have gotten a second opinion.

You know, if only, if only they didn't get behind the wheel.

If only I had picked up the phone call.

If only, you know, they hadn't gotten in the car, on the plane, whatever.

How do you get out of that stage where you're bargaining with the past because the present is so painful to accept?

I mean, and this was almost 20 years ago.

Right.

And I know my husband, who is a death doula, who has volunteered with hospice for over a decade, who counsels people as a death doula.

I know there is still in the back of his mind, if only he'd gotten a second opinion.

Explain that.

You'd rather feel guilty than helpless.

So guilt, even though it's not great to feel it, feels a little better than feeling completely helpless.

That makes so much sense.

Because otherwise... We live in a world where, oh my God, anyone can die.