It's Not Just You: The Reality of Adult Friendship Right Now
episodePreviously titled “The Reality of Adult Friendship: Here’s Why You’re Lonely & How to Make Real Friends as an Adult” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why does adult friendship feel so hard?
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Let's just come out and say it. Friendship. It's really hard right now. And I wanna tell you, you're not the only one who feels like life is just this giant blur of work and errands and stress and taking care of family. I mean, none of us know where all of our friends went or how to make new ones. You know, in fact, I polled our audience of 30 million people online And here's what you told me. 86% of you want better friendships, but the majority of you are saying it's very hard to meet new friends. And you even admit that you'd rather be at home alone than make the effort.
What is the significance of social health?
So today, here's what you and I are doing. We have a Harvard-trained social scientist who's been researching friendship, connection, and loneliness for 15 years here in our Boston studio. And she's brought tools that will help you feel more connected in your life starting today. And she will also share a compelling reason based on decades of research why it matters that you take this part of your life seriously. You know, it reminds me of this quote that I love. Everyone wants a village. Nobody wants to be a villager. Well, today, you and I are going to be the villager. Because the village isn't something you find.
How can we overcome excuses for not connecting?
It's something you build. And there are specific steps that you can take, excuses that you must leave behind, and simple habits that will make new connections appear and your existing relationships become deeper and more meaningful. Because connection isn't a nice to have. It's one of the most important requirements of living a fulfilling and happy life.
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am buzzing about the conversation we're going to have today because this one is really important. You know, it's an honor to be together and to spend this time with you. And if you're a new listener or you're here because somebody shared this with you, and I have a feeling this one's going to be a big one that we all share with each other, I just want to personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I cannot wait for you to meet today's expert, Kasley Killam. She is here to share the reality of adult friendship.
What are the four friendship styles?
It's not just you and how to build better relationships. Kasley Killam is a Harvard-trained social scientist who has spent the last 15 years researching how human connection improves your well-being. She's the bestselling author of The Art and Science of Connection, Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier. Casley earned her master's degree from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and holds professional certificates from Stanford Graduate School of Business and Columbia University. She's also conducted research in positive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and launched an award-winning initiative promoting empathy and kindness at Stanford University.
She has been a fellow at Columbia University, Aspen Institute of Health, and Mind and Life Institute. And today, Kasley Killam is here to help you. She's going to share the research, the tools, and the practical advice you need in order to feel more connected, build friendships that last, and understand why connection is the key to a meaningful life. Please help me welcome Kazli Killam to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
How can you deepen existing friendships?
Thank you so much, Mel. I am so excited that you're here because the office, I'm talking like 50 people buzzing around like bees, so excited about what you're about to teach us about friendship. Why does this matter so much? What are we going to learn?
Well, first of all, it matters because young people today spend nearly a thousand fewer hours per year with their friends. Hold on a second.
A thousand less hours a year? Compared to 20 years ago. Okay. I just want, somebody better check my math on this.
What strategies can help in making new friends as an adult?
But a thousand hours, if you put it in a 40-hour work week, is 25 weeks long. That's terrible.
Yeah. And it gets worse, Mo. 67% of Americans never participate in any kind of club or organization or group.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does adult friendship feel so hard?
0:00–0:46
2
What is the significance of social health?
0:46–1:26
3
How can we overcome excuses for not connecting?
1:26–2:35
4
What are the four friendship styles?
2:35–3:44
5
How can you deepen existing friendships?
3:44–4:21
6
What strategies can help in making new friends as an adult?
4:21–5:01
7
How can we maintain friendships during life changes?
5:01–5:36
8
What is the ultimate takeaway about social health?
5:36–1:19:08
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from The Mel Robbins Podcast
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