Melissa Vranjes

I'm the only one that's allowed to touch you, you know?

And it's like, I really feel like if you want to bring a fantasy into life, into real life, do it in layers.

Don't just go gun ho.

No zero to hero.

it's not talk about it name the theme then go into what it would look like like full noise and then notice how that feels in your body and then go cool what would it look like if we like just dipped our toe into this how does that feel oh okay I kind of feel more open to that and that may be it

Yeah.

And it could even just be communicating between you two about the fantasy.

There's also another really good book where women are talking about their fantasies.

And one of them is like she got really turned on by seeing her partner like somebody else just –

ravishing her partner and those two going at it while she was just like wow this is amazing to watch like oh my god I could not watch that neither I just could not I know and I spoke about this with my bestie I was like do you know what that idea in my mind does kind of feel hot like it would like seeing somebody else give pleasure to my partner does kind of feel hot but in reality absolutely not

In reality, get the fuck off my partner.

But that's the erotic piece of it.

It's like seeing your partner in pleasure.

And it's somebody else.

That's the hotness of that certain thing.

But I would die.

Yeah, but then it's not really a fantasy.

You know, if it's turning you off, it's not a fantasy.

feeling like a bomb's just gone off in the bedroom okay so i think the first thing is is that when your partner should we talk about this as in like the partners come to them to talk about it and i and like or like whose side should i focus on saying because first of all you have to learn how to reciprocate yes the fantasy like your partner's telling you yeah but also have the courage to tell your partner oh there's two ways there

Yeah, there is.