Melissa Vranjes

Okay, let's start with your partner brings you a request and says, I really want you to dress up, choke me, and spank me, and I want a bit of roughness.

And you're like, oh, my God, I'm not really a rough person.

Mm-hmm.

The first thing you want to do is to stay curious.

Someone bringing a fantasy to you is not you need to be an immediate yes.

It's not like, oh my God, I need to give it to this person right now because they're really unhappy in the relationship.

Kill it.

It's not the truth.

Someone bringing you a fantasy is a desire, is an invitation to explore something new in the relationship.

And I think what's really important is just like taking a breath,

sitting with it and staying curious don't judge them you know what i said before around think about how long it's taken for somebody to come with this desire um yeah because they wouldn't come to you with the desire if they weren't into you

Yeah, exactly.

I'll break up with you and go and work it out somewhere.

Yeah, like, exactly.

That's such a good point.

Like, they're bringing it to you because they potentially want to explore an element of it.

Be open-minded.

Yeah.

So curious, non-judgmental.

Can you listen?