Melissa Vranjes

oh this is such a good one and it's really really common if you're somebody who can orgasm solo but not with a partner you are normal this is like one of the most popular things that women dm me about or come to session honestly last year i had yeah it was crazy i was working with like six different women all on this i can orgasm solo but not with my partner what's wrong with me why

There's a lot of different factors here.

The first is, one, you feel responsible for somebody else's pleasure.

As women, we give.

We give to people.

So it's like we get in the bedroom with somebody else and it's like, I've got to tend to their needs.

I've got to pleasure them.

I've got to...

no you don't you know it's like their their pleasure is their responsibility your pleasure is your responsibility the next is like just the pressure of thinking about somebody else like how they see you what position you're in your smell if you're making the right noises like do you look hot enough you know it's like all this pressure is here someone is literally witnessing you

Um, the next is the whole time thing and arousal plays a huge part.

My partner can get there within a couple of minutes.

I take ages, quote unquote ages.

So I just don't bother, you know, we just, it's like, I'm not worth the effort, which is so sad.

Like you are worth the effort.

And the final one that I tend to see a lot and is a lot of the work that I'm doing is women are self-pleasuring completely different to how they're having sex with a partner.

You know, they get into the bedroom, they've popped on their porno, they've grabbed their vibe and they're sitting there and within five or so minutes, they, you know, it's external clip.

They've got the great porno on and they're coming, which is amazing.

You know, if that like,

hits it for you amazing but when we like clone that into partner play we've got internal stimulation we've got we haven't got a visual stimulating like a you know something yeah like the porn going straight to the climatic scene it's like no there's build up here it feels a lot slower it's taking a lot more time so

Yeah, I just think how could you start bringing in some elements of partnered play into your solo play, which I always say, are you internally orgasming?