Melissa Vranjes

I also think not talking about what they actually do and don't want to do and what they are a maybe to is really, really important.

So having a conversation on what it looks like tonight.

We're going to try the whip.

I don't want to be whipped like...

on the back of my legs or near my kidneys or on my breasts.

Like, let's just try it here and sticking to that.

Yeah, just getting a bit carried away.

I also think copying porn and just going, let's do exactly what they do and not realizing that porn is actually there for entertainment, that...

they've debriefed the whole session on what they're going to do and that's what we can take that from porn and actually going what is this going to look like is really important as well that dominance is this like hard cold ruthless

role and it's not.

Dominance can be this really sexy, deep, authoritative role to play.

And same as submission as well.

It's not this like, I'm so helpless and I don't know what to do.

What we spoke about requires a lot of trust and safety and it can be so healing for a lot of people to be in that role of submission and working through cultivating more trust and safety with themselves and with their partner as well.

So, yeah, I think that's usually the common mistakes that I see and hear from clients.

Is there aftercare we should be talking about?

Always.

Apart from the first aid kit?

Yeah, always.

Aftercare is so important.