Melissa Vranjes

Yeah.

I think for a lot of women, it feels like betrayal.

It's like these other, and this is something that I felt, is it feels like you are getting aroused and getting off by other women and people and it's not me.

So there's that sense of betrayal and

if it's not communicated, there's secrecy then.

It's like, oh, you're doing this behind my back.

Like, why aren't you coming to me and initiating sex with me?

Especially if you're not having sex.

So I see this a lot where you're not having sex, but your partner's using porn.

you know three times a week and it's like why aren't we having sex but you're going to porn and that's when it can feel like it digs deep it's like am I not turning you on anymore are you not aroused by me are you not attracted to me what's going you know it's like it really plucks up our insecurities so yeah I think it's really normal to feel a sense of betrayal or deceit from somebody watching porn where there's not like an openness around it

And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but it's more just, is there an open, like, do you openly talk about that?

It's okay that you use porn.

It's all good, babe.

I get it that I said once a week, like, does it for me.

You feel like it five times a week and you use porn.

That's all good.

But if you're like, I don't like that you use porn, I would love it if you masturbated through imagination or through audio erotica or books even.

I know, but then we've immediately got a closed door to something in the relationship.

We've immediately put ourselves in a room of like, this is what I do, but I don't tell my partner about it.

And then when we get really used to that, that becomes the norm and it's like,