Melody Beattie
speaker
102 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Melody Beattie’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And it's all a spectrum. It's all a spectrum. What I found when you had asked earlier about the progression of the awareness and consciousness of codependency is when I started talking openly about my experiences and especially growing up in an alcoholic home, how that had affected me.
Including ourselves. Yes. Acceptance. I mean, we don't have to like it. We just have to accept it.
Surrender, yeah. No, we're talking about surrender. A real... waving their white flag of surrender to the experience, to this new twist in our journey, to how this changes our lives. My life was blown up in 1990 when my son Shane went skiing on his 12th birthday and never came home. Disrupted my daughter's life. It disrupted my life. And
And it's one thing to say the word grief and to talk about the journey. But I mean, my soul fell out of my heart and down onto the floor. And I spent the next 20 years trying to find more light and get through it and understand. But one of the first lessons I learned when after moving to California with my daughter was empathy.
I wasn't able to run into anyone on this planet who hadn't encountered some form of loss, some form of anguish. And I mean, as I traveled around the world, really deep, painful, big things. That was the start of the grief club that we're not being singled out, although sometimes it may feel like we are. And I don't know, they don't seem to tell us this stuff in kindergarten, do they?
You know, carry an umbrella and a rock everywhere you go because life is going to be a little bit difficult. You're going to need to protect yourself often. No, we're not completely equipped for that.
Yeah, we don't want to get banged up anymore. It's not because we're bad. It's because we've already been through enough, we think. We just don't want to hurt anymore. And who can blame us?
I have learned that surrender is one of the few things in life that hurts most before I do it. Every time out of the box. It's my resistance. It's my resistance. When I'm in a state of resistance to a situation, to an emotion, to anything in life, when I'm resisting it, I'm putting myself through pain.
Yes. Contemplating the fact that we're not really in control. Yeah.
Life is a duality, isn't it?
It really is a duality. There's no easy formula for anything in life that I've found that actually works.
It can be a bit much at times, especially over the last, I would say 15 years. It's all, it all has been a bit much, but we're getting challenged at such deep levels about long held beliefs about right, about wrong, about who we are, about how to be in the world. If there's another thing I would encourage people to do and, Instead of telling ourselves stop controlling, we can start allowing life.
We can allow life to happen. We can allow ourselves to be and to happen as well. We can gentle up a little bit because, you know, it's just been batshit crazy for quite a few years now, hasn't it? really crazy and really intense. And even going on the cell phone, every time I start to scroll, it feels like sticking my finger in a light switch.
And it just aggravates everything. So the next challenge is to find doing things that calm us, that help us find our inner peace and that nurture the light each of us have inside of ourselves to share with the world. We don't have to change the whole world, we don't have to buy out the whole table. We just need to quietly take our seat at it and let our light shine, you know?
And to do that, I find meditation absolutely critical. Right now, I don't know how to get through any day successfully without meditating. The anxiety and the energy is so intense. And I live in a very natural, beautiful place. But it's not about where we live. It's about our home inside of ourselves and how that home feels to be in. And if we're comfortable in that home.
We move out of home. Out of home. We move out of home. And that's... What so much of life is about is about getting us comfortable. And how can I learn to make myself comfortable in my own home? No, I can't control everything in my environment, but I can make choices that lead to an optimum environment in my home, inside of myself for me to live in.
Right, well, and we're all a bit like that, aren't we? We find one circle and it works. And if we're growing, we outgrow it or another person outgrows it and it stops working.
But we with our loyal, ever loyal codependence hearts will remain attached in that and to that and feeling guilty should we happen to neglect it for many years to come after it doesn't really work for us anymore or the other people. It's just like, I have to keep at this, don't I? Not necessarily. We can't discount the huge changes going on around us now either.
We're going through so many spiritual, global changes, transformation, upheaval. And just when it lands... It's like a butterfly. It flutters again and flies away. It never, it hasn't landed. It hasn't stopped changing for years. And so of all the times I've lived through, I've never felt the challenge to meditate and create a peaceful home in myself as I have now, as I have recently.
That doesn't come natural. I don't know that it comes natural to anyone without a practice.
Showing 61–80 of 102 · page 4 of 6
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