Mercedes Coffman

Sometimes, and it was unpredictable, there was emotional unavailability there.

You're much more likely to fall into limerence.

If you are a highly imaginative person, you're much more likely to fall into limerence because you fall for the fantasy of a person and you could imagine what life with them could be like or intimacy with them would be like.

So those types of people, as far as a person who is either emotionally intelligent or highly imaginative, they typically-

They tend to fall for limerence because they build a story around the chemistry they feel for a person.

A highly empathic person because they extend understanding.

I understand why he's not always available.

I understand why he's inconsistent.

So they're much more likely to fall into limerence as well.

Yes, introverts.

The introverted ones more likely to eyes, more likely because they're more introspective, more empathic, oftentimes also more imaginative.

And so same with anxiously attached people, because anxiously attached people usually come from childhoods where there was lots of unpredictability.

And people who they typically fall into limerence with are unavailable people.

So there is a resemblance to familiar patterns from the childhood.

So anxiously attached people, introspective people, introverted people, much more likely to fall into full addiction with another person.

Absolutely.

I think that a lot of those children, I mean, I write about it in my book too, because a lot of kids, I mean, I find kids fascinating because that's really where a lot of dysregulation occurs, right?

Right.

I think that a lot of children who had this praise where it's unpredictable when you're going to be seen, when you're going to feel valued, because belonging is the most important thing for children to a kid won't stop loving a parent, no matter how abusive the parent is.

they'll stop loving themselves, right?