Michael Kosta

Okay, so the president has decided to spend his time building a giant arch.

How giant are we talking?

I'd like it to be the biggest one of them.

Wow, get excited, people.

Trump is building Washington, D.C.

's hottest suicide destination.

First off, it's never good when the architectural experts use the word alarmed.

And secondly, do we need the world's biggest arch?

This is how you can tell Trump doesn't live with Melania full-time, because this is one of those ideas men have when they're home alone for too long.

Whenever my wife goes away, two days into her trip, I'm like, actually, you know, we do need a skate park in this living room.

I don't...

And as for the arch design, it's basically just copying the Arc de Triomphe.

And honestly, if we're going to be derivative of France, let's not just settle for their arches.

How about socialized health care?

Or even better, the right to... Or even better, the right to start a riot when your boss emails you after 5 p.m.

But five, I guess go build your arch.

Then we can get back to those important issues that you are so eager for America to return to.

So what do you got?

President Trump announcing he will shut down the Kennedy Center for two years for a top-to-bottom renovation.

No, Trump is shutting down the Kennedy Center for two years?