Michael Kosta

What part of discombobulator don't you understand?

Do you think I'm just talking nonsense here?

This is almost unbelievable.

Trump is announcing a secret weapon that disarms the enemy and ruins their equipment and disables their soldiers.

This sounds too good to be true.

So I'm starting to think the president might have walked in front of the discombobulator.

Let's move on to the story that's been discombobulating the entire world.

Everybody is still binging the latest season of The Epstein Files, so let's get into all the fallout in another installment of the very normal and not shady handling of The Epstein Files.

It's pretty boring stuff.

For the past week, people have been poring over the Epstein files and learning all the connections he had to the rich and powerful.

Few people have been as disgraced as former Prince Andrew.

But somehow, this next batch has made him even disgracier.

Wow, kicked out by his own brother.

who is also his second cousin and his fifth uncle, 12th removed.

The point is, there's a lot of incest in the royal family.

I'm glad he's getting evicted, and I think we can all agree, it is much funnier when a British pedophile has to go door-to-door in their new neighborhood, like, Oi, governor, I'm a pedo, innit?

Cheerio.

Anyway, let's check out the shithole that former Prince Andrew's being sent to.

Oh, no.

Not a cottage on the private estate.