Michael Malice

You know, Roseanne got him his first job. Roseanne, you and her have been hanging out. I got it. Oh my God. Talk about Thanksgiving. When you are talking to Roseanne Barr and making eye contact with this person, it is, I can't even describe it. It's just like, holy crap, Roseanne Barr's talking to me. She is, I've said this to her face, pathologically funny. Like, it does not turn off.

You know, Roseanne got him his first job. Roseanne, you and her have been hanging out. I got it. Oh my God. Talk about Thanksgiving. When you are talking to Roseanne Barr and making eye contact with this person, it is, I can't even describe it. It's just like, holy crap, Roseanne Barr's talking to me. She is, I've said this to her face, pathologically funny. Like, it does not turn off.

And you're sitting there and you're like, holy crap. And when you make her laugh, which is that laugh that's in the theme song of her show, you feel like, okay, I did a mitzvah. I did something good and right in the world that I made Roseanne Barr laugh. And it's also really funny because, and she's going to hate this, because I tell her she's adorable. She doesn't like that. She's little.

And you're sitting there and you're like, holy crap. And when you make her laugh, which is that laugh that's in the theme song of her show, you feel like, okay, I did a mitzvah. I did something good and right in the world that I made Roseanne Barr laugh. And it's also really funny because, and she's going to hate this, because I tell her she's adorable. She doesn't like that. She's little.

And you're sitting there and you're like, holy crap. And when you make her laugh, which is that laugh that's in the theme song of her show, you feel like, okay, I did a mitzvah. I did something good and right in the world that I made Roseanne Barr laugh. And it's also really funny because, and she's going to hate this, because I tell her she's adorable. She doesn't like that. She's little.

You think of Roseanne Barr as this like force of nature, like a tsunami. She's like 5'3", I'd say like maybe 130. And she puts on the sunglasses. You think this little Jewish lady, you'd never know. This is one of the most epic performers of all time. She lives near here now. So it's just so much fun talking to her.

You think of Roseanne Barr as this like force of nature, like a tsunami. She's like 5'3", I'd say like maybe 130. And she puts on the sunglasses. You think this little Jewish lady, you'd never know. This is one of the most epic performers of all time. She lives near here now. So it's just so much fun talking to her.

You think of Roseanne Barr as this like force of nature, like a tsunami. She's like 5'3", I'd say like maybe 130. And she puts on the sunglasses. You think this little Jewish lady, you'd never know. This is one of the most epic performers of all time. She lives near here now. So it's just so much fun talking to her.

There was an old satirical magazine in the, I think like early 2000s called Hib, written by Jews. And she dressed up as Hitler for one of the photo shoots and she was baking little men in the oven. I got, I found that on eBay. I want her to sign it to Michael. It should have been you, but she signed it to Michael. You're one smart cookie. And now it hangs, love mom, Roseanne Barr.

There was an old satirical magazine in the, I think like early 2000s called Hib, written by Jews. And she dressed up as Hitler for one of the photo shoots and she was baking little men in the oven. I got, I found that on eBay. I want her to sign it to Michael. It should have been you, but she signed it to Michael. You're one smart cookie. And now it hangs, love mom, Roseanne Barr.

There was an old satirical magazine in the, I think like early 2000s called Hib, written by Jews. And she dressed up as Hitler for one of the photo shoots and she was baking little men in the oven. I got, I found that on eBay. I want her to sign it to Michael. It should have been you, but she signed it to Michael. You're one smart cookie. And now it hangs, love mom, Roseanne Barr.

And I call her mom and it hangs over my desk. Cause have her like good domestic goddess energy flowing at me.

And I call her mom and it hangs over my desk. Cause have her like good domestic goddess energy flowing at me.

And I call her mom and it hangs over my desk. Cause have her like good domestic goddess energy flowing at me.

My favorite comedian of all time is Neil Hamburger. So Neil Hamburger, I don't know if I'm ruining the bit. He's a character performed by this guy named Greg Turkington. So he comes out in a tuxedo, big eyeglasses, holding three glasses of water. Mm-hmm. coughing into the mic.

My favorite comedian of all time is Neil Hamburger. So Neil Hamburger, I don't know if I'm ruining the bit. He's a character performed by this guy named Greg Turkington. So he comes out in a tuxedo, big eyeglasses, holding three glasses of water. Mm-hmm. coughing into the mic.

My favorite comedian of all time is Neil Hamburger. So Neil Hamburger, I don't know if I'm ruining the bit. He's a character performed by this guy named Greg Turkington. So he comes out in a tuxedo, big eyeglasses, holding three glasses of water. Mm-hmm. coughing into the mic.

And I remember I saw him once in LA and the girl ahead of me, at the table ahead of me was with her boyfriend, this basic chick, pumpkin spice. She turns to him and she goes, what is this? And I remember the first time he was on Jimmy Kimmel, and he tells one of his jokes, and he was like, why does E.T. like Reese's Pieces so much? Well, that's what sperm tastes like on his home planet.

And I remember I saw him once in LA and the girl ahead of me, at the table ahead of me was with her boyfriend, this basic chick, pumpkin spice. She turns to him and she goes, what is this? And I remember the first time he was on Jimmy Kimmel, and he tells one of his jokes, and he was like, why does E.T. like Reese's Pieces so much? Well, that's what sperm tastes like on his home planet.

And I remember I saw him once in LA and the girl ahead of me, at the table ahead of me was with her boyfriend, this basic chick, pumpkin spice. She turns to him and she goes, what is this? And I remember the first time he was on Jimmy Kimmel, and he tells one of his jokes, and he was like, why does E.T. like Reese's Pieces so much? Well, that's what sperm tastes like on his home planet.