Michael Sorensen

he gets defensive, right?

He almost takes offense to that.

Like, no, don't don't tell me how to fix it.

Right?

So it's this interesting dance because a lot of us aren't even aware of the fact that we want validation.

And yet it's a basic human need, right?

We all, as humans, have a deep-seated need to feel heard and understood.

And so while women may be a little more in tune with that fact, you know, and they might say, no, I just want you to listen to me, men need it every bit as much.

We might just not admit it.

We might just not say it.

Sure.

At least not right off the bat.

So, you know, I've identified something I call the four-step validation method.

And it's basically a reverse engineered way of some of the best conversations that I've seen over thousands on how to best help somebody feel heard and understood.

And what's critical is that it's a process here because I'm not saying you can't ever offer advice.

I'm not saying you can't ever help somebody feel better by offering a solution.

All I'm suggesting is that's better to come after advice.

first offering validation.

And so if somebody comes to you and they're complaining about something, sure, they probably want help fixing it.

That doesn't mean they want that first.