Michael Todd
speaker
60 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Michael Todd’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I needed to talk about insecurities. OK, so I'll talk about it in the book, but I'll just I'll just sum it up right now. I had this revelation that I. Had become allergic to being good. I could only be great. I was in a situation when I was young where I was good at playing the drums at 12 years old. And I mean, I was really good.
And I was in our church back at the house and I was better than the drummer that played for our main service. Like the adult. Like the adult service. You know what I'm saying? And all I wanted at 12 years old is to play drums in the big church. That's what I called it. Playing drums at the big church. And the guy who was over all the music, he was like, you are really good.
And they were always giving me props and all the other stuff. But he would always let this older guy play that was not as good as me. And I would come every Tuesday, the only kid there for their rehearsals. And I'd be there with my sticks. I would come early. I'd make my parents drop me off. I know all the music and everything like that, but they would never let me play. And I did this for months.
Like, months. I knew all the music. I knew all the songs. I was hoping that he would just fall dead and just fall off the thing, and then I was able to catch it. I mean, this is in my 12-year-old mind, you know what I'm saying? But, like, I knew I could do it if somebody would just give me an opportunity, and they never let me play. And I remember being on that maroon chair.
And see, this is how subtle trauma can come into your life. And this is why we have to evaluate it. I remember sitting on a maroon chair in the back and I decided that being good was not good enough. I had to be great at everything. Because if I was great, they couldn't deny me. Like if I was great, there's no way they wouldn't let me do that.
And from that day on, at 12 years old, my engine changed. I couldn't be good at anything, okay? No, I'm not playing the game unless I'm gonna smash you. And now, this now seems like at that age, it seems endearing. It's like, wow, this young man is, wow, he's proactive and he's gifted and he's moving, he's hungry. And so now I'm getting attention from it. And now I'm getting accolades from it.
And now I'm getting, so it's like, oh, this is great. I made the right decision. Like I'll never be good. Nothing good is good. I will only be great. So my car had to be great. My business had to be great. My wife had to be great. My family had to be great. My everything had to be great. And this served me for almost 20 years.
until I reached this level of success and everybody wants me to come speak and everybody wants me to do this. And we found out that my only son had autism. So now my wife is broken. She's depressed. I'm confused. I'm the guy that's supposed to have crazy faith, but I can't do anything about my son. He's no longer looking at us. He's not saying any words. His younger sister's developing past him.
Like he's peeing and pooping on himself every day. What's going on? And now my motor is I have somebody here that looks like me that's not great. And it's not even good. I don't know how to process this. So now I'm going to go and I'm going to make more money. I'm going to da-da-da-da-da. But my wife needs me.
I have the person I've loved for my whole life sitting here saying, I don't care if we have any more money. I need my husband. I need you to sit with me. And I'm like, well, you sit there, but I got to like, because now my motor to be great is no longer what's going to help me. If I would have taken all the dates, if I would have kept going, I would have lost my wife and my family.
I would have lost my legacy. I would have lost the thing that meant the most to me. And this is the culmination of me having to deal with like, where did that come from? And so I was sitting with my mentor outside of Oklahoma City in a crackle barrel. And he was he's listening to me talk. And he just he's sitting there. His name is Tim Ross. And he has this huge pile of eggs that he's eating.
He loves eggs for some reason. And I just remember seeing the eggs. And he says, so when did you have. When did you decide that your standard for this life was greater than God's? And I was like, what are you talking about? And because I'm a person of faith, we look at the Bible as principles and practical things that we can use to live our lives by.
He said, remember in creation, it said in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and the star. And he told the ocean how far it could come and created land and did all of these things. And he looked back at his work and he said, it's good. He created the solar system and the galaxies and all the animals. And then he looked back at it and said, that's good.
And he does all this creating on the sixth day, he creates man and woman. And he looks at him and said, this is good. He said, if God's standard is good, why is your standard great? And something inside of me was like, whoa, I can't keep living and not even appreciating all of the good that's around me because of the trauma that happened to me at 12. Ralph. And now I don't even like good.
I don't even appreciate good where people would love to have good. I can't have good money. I have to have great money. I can't be good in my relationship. My relationship hasn't been great. I'm literally missing the essence of life and what's right in front of me. I can't even be grateful for what people would kill for because of the trauma that happened on the maroon chairs when I was 12.
And this is part of what led to me going through this healing journey and transformation so that I could really, really live life to the fullest.
Yeah. So so the fruit was now I'm a very successful workaholic, excellence expecting perfectionist person, Mike Todd. But the root was I was an insecure little boy who felt like nobody saw him. So I was going to make sure you saw me. So now everybody will look at the fruit and be like, yay. Like, wow. Like, that is phenomenal. But the root was trauma. The root was damage.
The foundation helped you get there in a sense. Yeah. It was motivated negatively. But if you never stop and examine it, it would have been the same thing that destroyed me.
Yeah.
And this is why I'm telling everybody who's listening right now, it may be time to stop and evaluate. Just because you're doing good doesn't mean you're doing good.
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