Michael Urie

speaker
1,414 appearances 2 recordings 2 series first heard Jan 2026 last heard 28 Jan

Michael Urie’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

Trend

recordings per month · last 12 months
2 · Jan OctJan 26AprJulnow

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jan 2026 with 2.

Appearances

newest first · ▶ plays the moment
What a disgrace.
It's one thing to take steroids, or gamble on your own games, or hire your idiot boyfriend to take a pipe to your rival's knee, but lying about your dong size?
That's where I draw a big, veiny line.
Well, an average-sized line, but veiny.
Imagine a purple spider web.
Okay, enough!
Stop telling me about your dick.
I prefer text, that way it's searchable.
First of all, if lying about your dick is a crime, then lock me and my massive hog right up.
This is great for ski jumping, okay?
Because I'm finally gonna tune in.
Now, instead of watching to see if the ski jumpers die, I'll be watching to see how big their dicks are right before they die.
Come on.
Come on, Ronnie, think of safety here.
Some of these ski jumpers are inflating the size of their penises with hyaluronic acid.
The only acid that should be anywhere near the penis is LSD.
Trust me, I did it and I was soaring.
A great eagle lifted me on its talons and carried me all the way to Saturn where the ghost of Benjamin Franklin shared with me the great universal truths.
And when I awoke, I was in a camping tent filled with elderly Chinese tourists.
Again, apologies to the Huang family for ruining their reunion.
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