Michelle Flynn

But I do think that it's really important for them to learn the tools about how to resolve these issues, because this is how they're going to be able to do this again when they're older.

Like I think of it as like these early relationships that we have, you know, when the brain is malleable, when the brain is learning and developing.

This is what shapes how we feel about ourselves and how we feel about relationships later on in life.

Do you know?

Because I can even see it now at home.

Like one of my sons is the...

the clown and he makes jokes and he gets the feedback from the other two.

Oh, he's so funny, you know, and that's where we start to internalize a kind of image of who we are is from the feedback that we get from our siblings and from those early relationships.

So giving them the tools, modeling the tools, I think is the best.

Oh my gosh, Clare.

Yeah, that really is heartbreaking.

And I suppose the first thing I would say is to normalise it.

Do you know, they've been through a trauma, they're in crisis at the moment, like this is a family in survival mode.

So it makes sense.

I mean, we take out our big emotions on the people that we feel closest to.

So it's normal that there's going to be conflict and upheaval in this family at the moment.

I mean, I think for your listener, I think something that's really important is

Like, how is she minding herself in this?

How is she resourcing herself to be able then to show up for those two boys?

And again, I think it is about, you know, trusting that they will be able to navigate this loss and this grief and being able to tolerate some of those difficult emotions rather than trying to fix it for them.