Michelle Ryan

I miss I miss his company.

I miss the laughs we used to have.

I miss him as a person and like not just my father.

Like, you know, he was to me, he was he was he was my rock.

Do you know what I mean?

And there was nothing that I was afraid to face inside in this lifetime because I knew that I had the backing of him.

do you know nothing I would have faced I would have faced everything and I always done it with a full heart and it wouldn't have faced me and as daddy used to always say to me Shelley if you don't have enough faith in you I have enough faith in me for the two of us and that's what and like that kicked me on again do you know that kind of thing and I it's not there anymore

it's not there.

Like, as I said, like there's days still where I want to pick up the phone, you know, I know Daddy get a right laugh out of whatever after happening and I want to pick up the phone.

But like, yeah, I still have him.

Like anytime I change my phone, the number still goes in.

And that's something that I can't leave go of.

So has it changed you?

Absolutely.

Absolutely, in more ways, in more ways than one.

Like as I, if Daddy was to come back to this earth for one, even for 10 minutes, all it would take is for one minute to realise that I'm not the same person that I was before this.

What things has he missed over the last 15 years?

Oh, he's missed the grandchildren.

There was my wedding, which we'd always like, we'd always joke to say, look, I can be getting in DJs away now, but shall we all know it is me and you that's going to be up, you know, in behind the machine playing for it, like as it was with my 18th and my 21st.

And he's missed, he's missed everything.