Mike Carruthers

There was something about the way... And I've always wondered, and I'm glad you talk about this, because I don't know what that is.

I assume it had something to do with...

the person, I mean, there's something about him, but there's something else there.

And so that's exactly what I think you're talking about.

Sure, yeah, absolutely.

And so basically your steps that you just ran through

could be printed on one page, but you wrote a whole book.

So there must be more to it than that.

But it does seem that you don't necessarily need to be a super communicator all the time.

It seems like that would get pretty exhausting.

So when you say matching, what are we matching?

How do you do that dance, though?

If you're not in the same conversation, when you say you invite, how do you invite someone to have the same conversation you're having?

Well, one of the things that is interesting about this is it sounds very deliberate.

Like you really have to say, okay, I'm now going to do my super communication thing.

Because so much of what we say to other people is just a reaction.

It just blurts out.

It's not this thoughtful, do you want to hug?

It's just whatever you say.

How do you have one of those kinds of conversations that you're talking about, a very thoughtful trying to understand what the other person is saying and get them, when they're not on the same page as you are?