Mike Love

Mew, mew, mew, mew, mew, mew, mew, mew.

Flick, flick, flick, flick.

Well, you know, some people are addicted to porn. Yeah, it's true. I'm addicted to Tinder, you know? It's like, I always swipe right for everybody, because it's a numbers game. Kind of like Russian roulette. Well, if they're Russian, I swipe left, because I don't fuck white bitches. But, um, no, seriously, though, like, I have bad luck dating. Don't know why.

So, like, every time I'm on Tinder, I send the same message, right? Like, hey, my name is Mike Love. I like long walks on the beach. I like to go dancing. Ultimately, I'm looking for someone to kick it with. I thought it was a good message. One girl responded, you're an asshole, you're not funny. I'm like, what did I say? Then I found out she was in a wheelchair. Let's run that back. Long walks.

Dancing. Someone I could kick it with. Yeah, good thing I didn't tell her I was into stand-up. You know? But, no, seriously, I recently just seen that she was, like, dating somebody. And the funny thing is, right, he's beating on her. But she's rolling with the punches. All right, y'all, thank you.

I'm really addicted to Tinder, man.

I did date a blind girl once.

She had four kids. She couldn't tell who the dad was. Wow.

Especially the kids. They're bad as shit. Her youngest son, right? He always just, like, knocks shit over, breaks shit, and then I run away, and he's like, don't say shit. You know what I mean? He's like, what was that? You know? I actually stole her TV. But she wasn't watching it. She wasn't even watching it. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, man. Wow.

What made you steal her TV? No, see, what happened was, right, my... Now, wait, wait, wait, wait. What happened was... What happened was, like, I didn't really steal it, right? Because, like, see, I got a new TV, right? Then I took her TV and put it in a box and then returned it. And, yeah, I'm a piece of shit. Wow. So you ordered the same TV that she has.

I'm like, you know, she ain't watching it. And then I got mine, but mine was broken. And I'm like, all right, let me take hers and then return the broken one. It made sense to me in the moment. But now I'm like, yeah. Wow.

Since the pandemic, so about going on five years.

Only fans. No, seriously, I have a content creation company called 143 Media, and I'm also a consultant for AT&T.

Yeah.

I was just trying to plug my shit. We don't know about, yeah, just AT&T.

All right.

All right. So I meet up with small businesses and I find like other comedians or people that have high viewers and I match them together. Kind of like, you know, like hinge for like businesses and social media content creators and like make sure they get paid and then they help them get more.

I am from Rochester, New York, but I'm currently living in San Antonio. You live in San Antonio?

Man, just comedy. I wanted to be close to here, but I'm also a military veteran, and there's a lot of bases in San Antonio. Oh, nice.

Oh, man, I was in the Air Force, and yeah, I was only there a few months, so something like that.

What did you do in the Air Force? Just identify aircrafts. You flew aircrafts? No, identify. Identify.

Identify, like, oh, that's a plane. Yeah, absolutely. I see him.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, right. Identified if it was friend or foe. Worked with Bradley tanks. Used Stinger missiles to knock down foes and shit like that, but I never really did it. Only in a simulator. How many people you kill? I don't want to talk about that, bro. Antonio Brown with a great question.

I can't talk about that, man, because after the military, I went to prison. So... Oh, no. Oh, all right. Stereotypes. A black guy went to jail. Yeah.

I can't talk about that because a lot of my employers don't know. But, um... Fraud. Okay, yeah.

That's funny.

It's not like he's going to see me later on and do something about it.

It's like blindfolded pinata. Okay. You're surgical with that shit, okay.

I don't know why, but I believe him.

And I got enough of love for the disabled community or handicapable. Wow.

No, I was doing her a favor.

A redeeming quality about me? I am an active father of three kids. Wow. They love me sometimes. What else? What else? What else? I actually work for a charity. What charity? It's called the Parker Project.

No, no, no. You know what? I'm not even going to talk about that one to be like, no, don't say that. We're not associated with you.

Parker Project actually helps the families with kids with cancer. Helps raise money for taking care of the household things like rent, mortgage.

No, it's legit. It's legit. It's legit.