Mike Wozniak

But I made it very clear I didn't give them monkeys.

We then had a nice chat.

And someone at the end of the show said, oh, sorry, they knocked on your door.

I couldn't give them monkeys.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah, sometimes there's more than one show in the back of a theatre.

You say hello.

You want to say hello to the other one.

Well, yeah, I had a lovely chat and I was delighted to meet them.

Do you know what I mean?

So no, the bollocking was unnecessary.

And they should continue to knock on doors backstage as they continue their careers up and down the theatres of this country.

But not if it's Davro.

Was the illegally imported hot sauce challenge last night at the Sean Bean Lounge?

Which hit a snag from the get-go with the word that Johnny Stevenson had been stopped at Heathrow for attempting to smuggle weapons grade Tabasco inside prosthetic limbs.

Whether customs were tipped off or whether they simply routinely stopped travellers with five or more arms is unclear.

Carrie Rae Hill, Alex Viviash playwright, Beth Seymour and Harley Brown also ran into trouble at the port of Felixstowe.

after panicking at what they thought was the sight of a white, long-haired Havanese sniffer dog, but which they then realized was Richard Branson.

But by that time, they'd already thrown their jalapeno fudge gravy overboard.

Simon Rufford-Bush, Paul W., and Joe from Vermont did make it to the lounge, but had anus-muled their scorpion custard and had to be taken straight to the Sean Bean infirmary for a nice cold ice-cold milk bath under anesthetic.