Miranda

I had a slight addiction to melatonin.

I was taking like 40 milligrams of melatonin every night to try to sleep because I was so anxious about whatever was going on.

I felt so conflicted because at a certain point we start saying, I love you.

I thought that I loved this person.

I was unclear about what I was anxious about, but I now know that it was just my body and my nervous system trying to tell me that something was wrong, but I couldn't comprehend it because, again, he was so good at manipulating me.

My brain was like, this is all normal.

This is just the circumstance.

It has to be secret.

No one can know about it because...

He's my professor, but that's just a small thing.

It's not a big deal for us.

Olivia, for example, I would see her all the time because she was in the play with us, but I'd stopped hanging out with her as much.

I remember having her over for the first time in forever and feeling really guilty and weird about it because it had been a long time since I had hung out with her.

My relationship with her changed in a lot of ways because when we had started to be sexual with one another, he then started to push me away from her by talking really poorly about her to me in ways that I regrettably at the time kind of believed.

Telling me that she didn't really get us because he and I come from a sad childhood and she had a supportive family.

He tried really hard to push me away from her once we had started our relationship because she then became a threat.

He needed her to help me get close to him.

And then the moment that we started being together, he flipped the script on her completely and was a total asshole to her, which is just very confusing.

And I remember her being incredibly confused because I had started to grow distant and so had he.

Here's Olivia.