Miriam Lewin
speaker
112 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Mar 2025
Miriam Lewin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Juan and I got a place at first, but I would only sleep there a few days a week. I would lie to my parents. I'd tell them I was going to sleep at friends' houses. But then more of our friends started to get kidnapped, so we had to leave. We were never in the life of a typical couple. We were on the move almost every week, living one day at a time. We never even thought about the future.
And at that very informal ceremony, the guy called us a revolutionary couple. He said that our commitment to each other, our vow, was to fight to change Argentina, to make it a more just place. And we moved to the outskirts of Buenos Aires and we got this tiny, tiny apartment with a tin roof. It was in the back of a family's house.
And we started buying some furniture, a couple of chairs, a table and some plates, a cover for our bed. And we put a Beatles poster in the bedroom.
I looked out the window and if we saw anyone that looked like an officer or a soldier, I would freak out. And Juan calmed me down. He always told me I was paranoid. Everything was so intense. The loss of our friends, attending nearly empty group meetings because most people disappeared... I mean, for us, one day felt like 10 years. We made love a lot.
We loved each other, but we were living on the edge. So every time we could touch each other, every time we could kiss each other, it was like it could be the last time.
We had decided to take our own lives before having to endure torture, which could lead to us giving away information and that could lead to our friends getting captured. Also, it was an order coming from the leaders of our organization. Don't get captured alive. To me, it was simple. You get captured and they own your body.
They would pass you over from one force to another, or if they wanted to, they would just put a bullet in your head. So they would dictate when and how you died. But with the cyanide pill, we were in control of our death. So it was kind of like a small victory over them, you know?
It was raining that night. I notice a car with foggy windows. Inside, I see the silhouettes of three or so men. I start zigzagging my way through the streets and corners to evade it, but sooner or later, it would be there again.
And I keep screaming off the top of my lungs, I'm Miriam Lewin, please help me.
I reach into the pocket of my leather jacket. I take out the cyanide pill and I put it in my mouth. I look up at the sky, and in my head I think, God, thank you for letting me die to help save my friends.
I tried to puncture the pill with my teeth as fast as I could, but the officers catch on and force me to spit it out. I never imagined they would catch me alive. I was young, healthy, but at that moment I didn't hesitate. I just wanted to die.
He says, Miriam, look at me. I am the man responsible for your life and your death. As long as you collaborate, as long as you're good, nothing will happen to you.
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