Mona Delahooke

speaker

381 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Apr 2019 last heard Apr 2019

Mona Delahooke’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 154: Dr. Mona Delahooke on Looking Beyond Children's Challenging Behaviors · 22 Apr 2019 podcast

And there's kind of three areas that I that I want to let listeners know about and that I talk about in the book.

And one is that I want us to examine the status quo and really understand, I want parents to understand

That there are different ways of viewing beh behaviors.

So in the education system, for example, oftentimes behaviors are viewed through the lens of compliance or noncompliance, right?

Like uh simplistic compliance is how we interpret behavior in school.

A child is uh either behaving or they're not behaving.

And when we put the uh lens of what we know about how the brain develops and also how human beings develop resiliency, we see that the new idea isn't viewed through compliance, but it's viewed through how the brain and body detect safety and threat.

So that's one uh the shift in how we interpret behaviors.

leads to um the need to have new responses to behaviors where we're not aligning behaviors as good or bad and assigning consequences.

You know, we'll give rewards and punishments, for example, and the and our status quo is is categorizing behaviors as good or bad.

And the

Very important idea, especially for behav for behaviors in children that are given uh labels such as DSM diagnoses and and things like that, is the difference between

a purposeful misbehavior and what we might call a stress response or stress behavior.

And

the way we shift that is that we we really adjust our expectations and we realize that the behavioral expectations that we have for our children

are based on older models and they're not very friendly to compassion or brain research.

So they're not what we would call neurodevelopmental.

And systems take a long time to change.

So oftentimes even for parents, I mean I was in the same boat.

When my child would have a behavior that I didn't understand or that I felt was aggressive or possibly disrespectful.

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