Nadia

It's the distance at which I love you and myself simultaneously.

I'm going to have to go watch this back and write that down.

We'll give it to you, but then we have to get the name.

We'll put it underneath.

Yeah, but I really like that.

I think when we think about boundaries, we take ourselves out on the occasion.

And we take care of the other person.

And there are times that we do have to do that.

You know, like Christmas is the perfect time where you're like, oh, God, how many of these do I have to do?

Or maybe, all right, you know what, it's one day and we've got to invite so-and-so to lunch and we can all do it because that's just what our Christmas is about.

And if you do have to do that, like if you have to go against yourself,

and we talk about this in the book as well is have something for yourself after so if I've had to like I don't know help a friend just making things up move house or something and I really don't have the energy I need to then when I get home create a space for myself where I'm replenishing myself so it's like we're just constantly taking care of ourselves it was a really hard one for me

because I had a career where it was, I was fine, more than fine, you know, and everybody wanted me and I was busy and then I moved my life and

I had to let go a little bit and I had to ask for help and have some... I mean, I had savings, so I was kind of okay, but support in some ways.

But this other feeling started to arise, which got really uncomfortable for me too, which was like, oh, I really like...

making the dinner with my partner I'd never made the dinner before you know I was like hummus and crackers and kind of like at nine o'clock at night after I'd been teaching all day and I remember the first Christmas and I was like is this what people do just sit around and eat and open presents and oh my god and he's like yeah babe this is Christmas you used to just run away from Christmas all the time yeah

And the sort of things that as a woman, if you had kids and you, you know, made those things, I just never did them.

But I started to really quite enjoy this feeling of sitting.

I'm like, everyone's sitting around the table for like 45 minutes.

Like, it doesn't matter.