Nery Saenz
Appearances
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
No, I was going to say, this is the biggest rich people problems I've ever seen. You know where this is not happening? Street water. You know what I'm saying?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Yeah, Alapata. This isn't happening in Cooper City.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Do you see who our president elect is? Nobody cares, like the whole country, nobody cares about logic. Nobody cares about logic anymore. Logic and reasoning went out the window. I'm not trying to get in a soapbox here, but it's like this whole, just the whole felon as a president, that right there should be enough for people to be like, oh, that would never happen.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
But it's not only happening, but with fanfare. It's crazy. It's absurd. But enough about Pornhub.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Can I ask you a question? Real talk. Can I ask you a question? You as a documentary filmmaker, right? And I'm not, this is not just me blowing smoke up your ass. As like a premiere. But enough about Pornhub. No, as a premiere.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
He did his own cart. As a premier top shelf documentary filmmaker, is there part of you that when you hear some crazy, absurd stories, specifically in Florida, because your bag is in Florida, is there a part of you that goes, oh yeah, like do you do that whole thing, like rub your hands, like yes, a new film, another Emmy, like do you do this thing where like you get excited over that?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Because the worst, like I have a friend who's a journalist for a local news station, and I've known her since she was in high school, and whenever she posts on social media, she posts these horrific stories of crimes that are awful.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
but I have to like because she's my friend and I don't, I feel really bad about liking these stories and like, oh, there's three people murdered and I'm like, like, and I just feel guilty, but I have to do it to support her and like, so do you as a filmmaker go, yes, I'm gonna make a film out of this?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
You just did. I was helping you with the whole, like, you know, the worse the crime, the better the documentary. And then we're going to segue into that. But I was, you know. Segue right into it. Hard and fast. Hard and fast. You know, you can't go slow. You can't loosen it up. Happy New Year. By the way, is it too late to say Happy New Year? I still say Happy New Anus. That's my whole thing.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Listen, if I don't see you, if the first time I see you this year is in July, I'm saying Happy New Year. I don't care.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
No, my Uber driver just gives me medical advice because he's a doctor somewhere. So no, other than that, I'm not saying happy new year.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
If we're friends, I'm telling you anytime this year. Anytime. If it's a street.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Maybe February 1st in a leap year. Happy New Year. I'm saying it all the time. I'm saying it just because I know it bothers some people. Oh, you're saying it. Just some people are like, dude, it's January 24th. I don't give a flying rat.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Roy, how are you going to get a segue into murder and kidnapping and underage, you know, that's brutal. Practice.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
He didn't get handcuffed? Nothing?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
this is the most bonkers like I've lived in Miami my entire life and even this story like that to me the fact that they got his email address like we're going to email you the receipt of these girls that we arrested we're just going to email like what's the point of the email I don't understand this is so crazy to me and this guy has a wild criminal record dating back
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Wait, did he give different email addresses every time he got arrested? And that's why we can't connect the two because there's, you know, how you do a Yahoo and then you do a different email address every time you get there.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
I think their concern about them getting hacked and then all that private information getting shared is a real concern.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Are you looking for some oxycodone or some ketamine? Or what do you need? Does he have Ozempic? What's going on?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Every fat guy is trying to look for Ozempic on the black market.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Literally like a villain. Like literally, bro.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
So glad you brought in the comedian for this story.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
This is the weirdest thing ever. Like, hey, you're a comedian. I love your comedy. Come in.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
I know, I know, I know. This is the second half of the show.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
I'm fine with it. I'm just busting balls. I don't care.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
yeah i hang out with britney brave and david samson to feel tall they talk about this on the main show a lot but it's deceptively how tall everybody on the main show is like you don't realize as a as a fan of the show you're watching the show you don't realize not you mostly sitting down no not you because everybody's sitting down but you don't really realize how tall everybody is i i didn't i had no idea until i would come here i had no i just met jeremy and i saw jeremy god damn he's fucking tall like i didn't realize he was
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
I get in this chair and I lift the seat all the way up. And then Dan gets in here and he's like, why am I?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Nothing on that? Nothing on that? You're gonna date yourself? You just dated yourself with phone books, bro. Phone books. That's not a thing anymore. Bell South. They don't have a thing anymore. Ma Bell.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta put multiple cell phones on. Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Southern Bell sounds like a great southern chicken place. Doesn't that sound like, hey, we're going to Southern Bell. Like, oh, shit, that's good. The combo. Have you ever had the slaw there?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Yeah, I don't want to do that. I wouldn't want to do that. I mean, I gotta be, no, that's just, first of all, this isn't my first,
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
foyer and block sites because when i work on cruise ships a lot and there are some cruise lines that when you purchase their wi-fi package they will block certain sites so i hear that you go so i hear your home pages so um so there are things where you have to you know you have to like oh this is tumblr still a thing okay let's go check out tumblr you know for some things uh but yeah i would never in my life like i've never been in a situation where i'm like
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
Yeah, I'll give my license. That's fine. I've never been in that situation where I'm going to give my license for porn. I'm sorry. That's not a thing. Just to see stepmoms and stepdaughters. Nah, I'm alright. Did you know that, by the way? What? Okay, so I stopped. Whatever you're about to say, I had known Nothing about it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
I've never seen any of it. So there was a true story. So I, for some reason, it wasn't a conscious decision, but for some reason, I went a few years without ever watching porn. I don't know why. It wasn't a conscious decision. It just happened that way. You didn't join the priesthood or anything? A few years? Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
No, no, I'm talking about like in the internet age. I'm talking about in the internet era, right? From six to 11. Yeah, yeah, from six to 11, I was like, no more.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
So no, and then I started watching it again, and I don't know why, I started watching it again, and then the first time I went to a site, it said, suggestions for you, and I am a sucker for the algorithm, like whether it's Facebook or whether it's Instagram, Amazon, if they go, hey, we think you'd like this, I'm like, oh, I didn't know.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
It's so good. It's always like, oh, I didn't know that I needed a wallet slash knife flashlight. But yes, this sounds amazing. And then I clicked on the for you, whatever version of it. And then all it was was stepdaughters and stepmothers and stepbrothers and stepsisters. And then I got extremely worried because I was like, what did I Google?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
to make this machine think that I'll be into this because this is super creepy, right? Like now it's normal because I've seen thousands of hours of it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
You could get 20 bucks for that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
And they had to keep doing it. No, Apple's paying like $96 million, whatever it is, huge amount, and then per- It's like a traffic ticket. Yeah, per user, it comes up to up to $20. So-
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
So... When they make it, because you know, were they all naked? Were the women all naked that were cutting it up? Like New Jack City? Yeah, like American Gangster. Why are they naked? So they won't steal anything. But they're all naked except for their sheriff's badge.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
So he's the creation of reality TV.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
That's literally what's happening. Some people would do anything for TV credit, man. Look at us. I mean...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
But that, hold on. So, and how much time? Like, is it eight centimeters or three centimeters?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: New Year, Same Shit
I'm trying really hard not to do these jokes. I'm trying really hard. You're saying three inches harder and faster, and I'm like, uh-huh.