Nick Jonsson
speaker
71 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Nick Jonsson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
asking for help your greatest strength and by making it simple but also in his research he found that actually people are terrified of asking for help and he's even wrote an earlier book that was called and death came third and that's talking about basically serving people and they found The death wasn't as scary as walking into a room full of strangers and talking to them.
So I think we just have that fear, that blockage. And that is about them practicing the vulnerability muscle. And we can do that in safe spaces and conversations by becoming more open, more vulnerable. And we can also prepare ourselves, as Andy will talk about in his books. If you're going to an event, you're going to that event. Think, what is it I want to get out of this?
Which are the people I want to meet? Or even script a few questions before. Have a note in your pocket and just stick to the script. This is what I want to ask. And then walk around and have meaningful conversations. And then things get a lot easier.
No, I fully agree with you. I offer my time quite frequently, but it's very few who pick it up, even though you serve it on a silver plate, simply because maybe the fear of being rejected or whatever it is. But if someone indeed approach, I'm also there for interns and people who are reaching out.
So, yeah, I think the clear message here to anyone, think about who you need to reach out to and take that call or walk up to people and ask the right question. Be prepared. Yeah.
Yeah, we got to be so careful from not oversharing and going into the office and oversharing everything. We have to decide which are going to be your safe spaces. And if it's in the workplace and you are the senior leader there, there might be that you don't have a safe space there where you can do that.
It might have to be externally, it can be coaches, mentors, it can be therapists, counselors, it can be anything from a 12-step program. If you have a challenge, you have an addiction, you have something, go and find your tribe, the people who will understand your problem, who can talk your language, go there. But of course, it's good if we can have some friends.
Women have a lot of women's groups. We men are getting better and better at having men's group. I'm the chair myself. I have a men's group. We log on once a week for one hour. That's the space for the men to share what's on their mind. So do that. Vulnerable in the workplace is when we make mistakes. We need to own up to our mistakes and just saying, I screwed up here and that's okay.
How can I do it better next time? That is where I think vulnerability should come in.
Yeah, I think it takes a lot of deep work and as men are quite hopeless in general in this, I have to say, sorry to generalize. I'm 50 myself and it took me quite some while. I was not there when I was 40. I was then quite defending and I was quite looking at the world.
as a place that you couldn't trust people but looking back in hindsight it was perhaps that i couldn't trust myself i was just immature the self-respect was there not there the self-love was not there that's something that only came after i went through my crisis i had my 40 years crisis basically for a couple of years after that i found myself but why do we have to go through something so dramatic to really hit what i did my rock bottom and then build myself back up why couldn't i have done that without
this journey, I wasn't vulnerable before. I was not ready for it. And I remember even in my office, downstairs was one of the 12-step programs for alcoholics. And I remember looking at that meeting room and thinking, poor buggers who have to go there, only to find myself in that chair a couple of years later on asking for help, you know?
yeah absolutely i believe that what really helped me was then and back to that support group that i joined was to be around other men who are older than me and listening to them and hearing their journey if we're looking back perhaps how men became men in the past there was more of a hands-on job we were with the fathers the grandfathers we were all doing work together we had mentors we had role models we learned that is not there anymore and i think that there's a big gap that at least i could feel and
I also didn't do things like joining the army or the military, which was also compulsory in Sweden, where I grew up in the past. And people said, you become a man when you do that for one or two years, going through a little bit of tough and hardness. I didn't have that in my life. So therefore, it seemed I needed my crash and my fall and admit that I needed to do what they call in recovery.
I needed to surrender and then look at others, what I was doing and picking up the good pieces there.
Yeah, I've also heard that. And people think, and even some of the women that heard that we are running this men's group, they actually didn't even believe it. They thought I was joking when I said it. And some of the guys have said, no, that's definitely not for me. I would never join that. But those are perhaps the people who would need it the most. And I was one of those people also before.
And it takes a while before we get there. So I would say we all need to open our mind a little bit, I think, in general, because that's a better place when we are joining groups and we can listen to others who especially are a few years older than us, then we can pick up so much.
Yeah. And that was by getting the support of others. I had others who lifted me up. And again, I go back to these kind of recovery meetings because they're very valuable here. I was wondering when I came in there and I admit that I had a drinking problem, I was surprised that around that table were people who had one month sobriety, three months sobriety, seven years sobriety, 30 years sobriety.
And I was thinking, poor buggers who are coming here for 30 years. And I thought, what's wrong with them? If they stopped drinking 30 years ago, what are they doing here? I found out later on the reason why they are there is to give back to help others. They were there for me. And that is the 12th step in all the programs, the 12th step.
It doesn't matter if it's food addiction, alcohol addiction, gambling or sex addiction, whatever issue there is, the 12th step is to give it back. And there's a saying in the recovery community which says, you've got to give back the gift to keep it. And that's what we're talking about here. So to answer your question, why did I continue to go up? Because I had others who helped me.
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