Nick Middaugh

To jump back just a second, growing up, I kind of played this game in my head related to the CSA where I'd set this

game this setting um i'd be the protagonist i'd be telling my mom and dad what happened essentially and i'd run out all the different reactions um like this almost like a simulation of like what i thought could happen what might happen if i told them you know at varying stages of my life and i played this game for years so when we were talking about in therapy it just seemed like something i wanted to get to um

game this setting um i'd be the protagonist i'd be telling my mom and dad what happened essentially and i'd run out all the different reactions um like this almost like a simulation of like what i thought could happen what might happen if i told them you know at varying stages of my life and i played this game for years so when we were talking about in therapy it just seemed like something i wanted to get to um

game this setting um i'd be the protagonist i'd be telling my mom and dad what happened essentially and i'd run out all the different reactions um like this almost like a simulation of like what i thought could happen what might happen if i told them you know at varying stages of my life and i played this game for years so when we were talking about in therapy it just seemed like something i wanted to get to um

So ended up having a conversation with a family member who was vulnerable enough to share her story of abuse with me. Thank you, Stephanie. And I ended up from there disclosing to my older brother. And from there, he was kind of like the trial run because there was a lot of fear associated with even just telling him.

So ended up having a conversation with a family member who was vulnerable enough to share her story of abuse with me. Thank you, Stephanie. And I ended up from there disclosing to my older brother. And from there, he was kind of like the trial run because there was a lot of fear associated with even just telling him.

So ended up having a conversation with a family member who was vulnerable enough to share her story of abuse with me. Thank you, Stephanie. And I ended up from there disclosing to my older brother. And from there, he was kind of like the trial run because there was a lot of fear associated with even just telling him.

Yeah. And we can get into the kind of the fears associated with disclosure. But a few months later, I ended up kind of typing up this letter, like feverishly and trying to figure out like, what's the best way to try to disclose something like this. And so I go through several editions of this letter. And I'm like, you know what, I'm just going to take a letter up there with me.

Yeah. And we can get into the kind of the fears associated with disclosure. But a few months later, I ended up kind of typing up this letter, like feverishly and trying to figure out like, what's the best way to try to disclose something like this. And so I go through several editions of this letter. And I'm like, you know what, I'm just going to take a letter up there with me.

Yeah. And we can get into the kind of the fears associated with disclosure. But a few months later, I ended up kind of typing up this letter, like feverishly and trying to figure out like, what's the best way to try to disclose something like this. And so I go through several editions of this letter. And I'm like, you know what, I'm just going to take a letter up there with me.

And I'm going to give it to them. We can have a conversation, they can read it, because I wasn't sure if I was going to be emotionally stable enough to talk.

And I'm going to give it to them. We can have a conversation, they can read it, because I wasn't sure if I was going to be emotionally stable enough to talk.

And I'm going to give it to them. We can have a conversation, they can read it, because I wasn't sure if I was going to be emotionally stable enough to talk.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Smart. Because I wanted to be able to like give them this sensitive, loving delivery. And I wanted to come across a certain way and I just wasn't sure I'd be able to talk. you know, because of the emotions and whatnot.

Smart. Because I wanted to be able to like give them this sensitive, loving delivery. And I wanted to come across a certain way and I just wasn't sure I'd be able to talk. you know, because of the emotions and whatnot.

Smart. Because I wanted to be able to like give them this sensitive, loving delivery. And I wanted to come across a certain way and I just wasn't sure I'd be able to talk. you know, because of the emotions and whatnot.

Um, yeah, I ended up giving him a letter and, um, had him read it. And, um, we had a conversation. It was, uh, it was rough because as I, as I got older, like going into adulthood, um, Because, you know, as a little kid, I had this fear of people finding out because I thought I wouldn't be loved. I thought I wouldn't have a family, like all that stuff.