Nicole Kalil

Thinking is not a problem.

Overthinking is a problem because overthinking leads to inaction and inaction leads to regret.

If you talk to the most confident people, the most successful people about their biggest regrets, more often than not, they will tell you about the things they didn't do, not the things that they did.

And so it's so important that we don't get stuck overthinking because then we're not doing anything.

And then finally, the fifth confidence derailer is seeking confidence externally.

It's that if X happens, then I'll feel confident.

If I get that promotion or if I fit into a certain size or if I find the person of my dreams, then I'll feel confident.

And it's a false equation.

It doesn't work.

In fact, what ends up happening more often than not is we become addicted to the thing and it's never enough.

Right.

So like for me early on, it was if I get that promotion, then I'll feel confident.

Well, then I got the promotion.

It was like I felt confident for about 30 seconds until I until I started freaking out about whether or not I could do the job or if I was ready or if people would respect me or whatever.

And then it was like, oh, the next promotion, then I'll feel confident.

And it just, you know, it's always something else if you choose to try to build your confidence in that way.

So seeking it outside of us is a confidence derailer.

Now, I'm not saying that those things don't feel good or that validation doesn't feel good or it's not a good thing.

I'm not saying that.

I just think it should be the icing on the confidence cake.