Nicole Kalil

So perfectionism is the number one confidence derailer.

I've heard it called the enemy of confidence, and I couldn't agree more.

Confidence derailer number two is what I call head trash.

These are the things we say in our own minds to ourselves about ourselves.

Things like you're not good enough, you'll never measure up or nobody will love you.

It's just mean, right?

The stuff that we say in our own minds that are very rarely true and never kind.

And we would never actually say to somebody that we love, yet we say it to ourselves.

So head trash is the second confidence derailer and I consider it the bully of confidence.

The third confidence derailer, and we kind of talked about this already, is comparison.

Comparison and judgment specifically.

When we compare ourselves to others and basically feel bad about something about ourselves, we fall short, we don't measure up.

Why isn't my life or my career or my whatever as good as this other person?

I think it's fairly obvious to see why that would chip away and do damage to our confidence.

The thing that's unfortunate about it is we're very rarely comparing like with like.

We're typically comparing our behind the scenes to somebody else's highlight reel, right?

So we are seeing their best moments, their achievements, the things that they really want us to see.

And then we're comparing our everyday normal lives.

And of course, then it would feel like we're falling short, right?

The fourth confidence derailer is overthinking.