Nicole Kalil

Like I'd be in meetings, only woman, you know, people way ahead of me, never had a hard time saying what I thought.

where I struggled was being authentic in that.

So I would share my opinion, I would speak up, but I did it very much in the way I observed it being done around me.

And so I did it a little bit more aggressively, a little more bluntly, a little bit more boldly, a little bit from a more masculine lens.

I sort of put on the armor of the masculine in those meetings and

And so I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that and might have had to in some cases.

But what I didn't bring to the table was some of my other authentic qualities like empathy, like listening, being transparent and vulnerable.

Like I didn't bring any of those things that, oh, now I have naturally in me.

But I was so afraid of what would happen, what people would think if I would be not invited to any other future meeting if I showed up as my full self.

And so that's really been the opportunity is not to using my voice was never a challenge.

But showing up as my true self was the problem or what was the challenge.

And that's been very much a work in progress.

And I think people like you are a good example, somebody who just shows up as themselves and you can feel it, like you can experience it.

And how refreshing that is and how it does build trust when you're around a person like that.

And so, you know, again, work in progress.

But to me, that's been the opportunity is, yes, to use my voice, but more to be authentic in doing so.

I identified five confidence derailers, again, with the lens of women in mind.

So confidence derailer number one is perfectionism.

This idea that we're supposed to do it all, have it all, be it all, and look good while doing it.

And, you know, God forbid we should ever make any sort of mistake, right?