Nicole LePera

Before we give words, can we just be with the experience again in childhood, which would have been helpful to happen then that's happening in our body?

And then as our body calms, right, then we can give some language.

We have access to the ability of our mind to give language labels.

And some of us might even need to learn a vocabulary in terms of emotional words.

But anger is something I think in particular that's important because a lot of us, all of us who had unmet needs in childhood probably have some foundational anger and some dysfunctional way that we're coping with it, whether or not we're exploding outward and hurting the people that we love or

We're so shut down and threatened by our own anger that we're being passive aggressive or people pleasing to avoid it.

So to develop that space in our life, the awareness of what anger feels like in our body, and then obviously a healthier channel.

And again, with anger in particular, it's usually creating a boundary, asserting yourself or meeting our need.

We put so much pressure too, I think, to know what we're feeling in the moment.

moment to be able to give words to it which is why I continue to emphasize that won't be possible if no one taught us if our body is too overwhelmed with the emotion whatever it is we're going to struggle to be able to communicate that which is why it's so important to give ourselves the time the space we need the curiosity not to shame that we don't yet know again I'm still learning my own emotional landscape so that in the moment then or even before when I'm in a state of need and I want to tell someone that I love that

that I'm feeling whatever it is, that I'm able to have the language to do that.

I'm able to tolerate the vulnerability of doing that, the fear of judgment that will come along with doing that.

And I'm able to then make that connection.

I think that's why a lot of us were walking around.

The reason why I kind of evolved my practice into now a solely community-focused one is because

The second I went online and the community kind of sprung up from around the world, it became so clear to me how shameful we are, how much we all fear that we're the only ones who feel this way, who are struggling with this, who are doing this.

And it is so hard to be authentically connected because we're not showing.

Because that fear is either preventing ourselves from being connected with our own emotions or from our ability to share our actual authentic experiences with other people.

And we're doing our relationships one too.

Right.