Nikki Glaser

I shouldn't hate that girl for being hot. She didn't mean to be. It's not her fault.

I shouldn't hate that girl for being hot. She didn't mean to be. It's not her fault.

I shouldn't hate that girl for being hot. She didn't mean to be. It's not her fault.

And that's what I like to remember when I'm feeling ugly is like, Nikki, okay, so there's a lot of action going on when you wiggle your arm. The other day I looked at my arm in the mirror. I just saw straight on and it looked like a scrotum hanging, a ball sack. And my friends were like, no, it doesn't. And I sent them a picture and they were all quiet afterwards. Like they couldn't say no.

And that's what I like to remember when I'm feeling ugly is like, Nikki, okay, so there's a lot of action going on when you wiggle your arm. The other day I looked at my arm in the mirror. I just saw straight on and it looked like a scrotum hanging, a ball sack. And my friends were like, no, it doesn't. And I sent them a picture and they were all quiet afterwards. Like they couldn't say no.

And that's what I like to remember when I'm feeling ugly is like, Nikki, okay, so there's a lot of action going on when you wiggle your arm. The other day I looked at my arm in the mirror. I just saw straight on and it looked like a scrotum hanging, a ball sack. And my friends were like, no, it doesn't. And I sent them a picture and they were all quiet afterwards. Like they couldn't say no.

It does.

It does.

It does.

But I was like, If I could snap my fingers and not have that, I would. Clearly, I'm not choosing this. It's not my fault. Why do I have to feel like I failed in some way or I'm a bad person? I didn't choose this. I wouldn't want this. Yes, there's probably exercises I could do to make it go away, but I don't have time for them. That doesn't make me a bad person.

But I was like, If I could snap my fingers and not have that, I would. Clearly, I'm not choosing this. It's not my fault. Why do I have to feel like I failed in some way or I'm a bad person? I didn't choose this. I wouldn't want this. Yes, there's probably exercises I could do to make it go away, but I don't have time for them. That doesn't make me a bad person.

But I was like, If I could snap my fingers and not have that, I would. Clearly, I'm not choosing this. It's not my fault. Why do I have to feel like I failed in some way or I'm a bad person? I didn't choose this. I wouldn't want this. Yes, there's probably exercises I could do to make it go away, but I don't have time for them. That doesn't make me a bad person.

I just get wrapped up in all the things I should be doing. You could afford a facelift. Why aren't you getting one? You could afford this laser treatment. Why aren't you doing it? Even the more money you make and the more opportunities you have to have avenues to look hotter... If you don't do them, you feel like you're failing in some way. And I hate that feeling.

I just get wrapped up in all the things I should be doing. You could afford a facelift. Why aren't you getting one? You could afford this laser treatment. Why aren't you doing it? Even the more money you make and the more opportunities you have to have avenues to look hotter... If you don't do them, you feel like you're failing in some way. And I hate that feeling.

I just get wrapped up in all the things I should be doing. You could afford a facelift. Why aren't you getting one? You could afford this laser treatment. Why aren't you doing it? Even the more money you make and the more opportunities you have to have avenues to look hotter... If you don't do them, you feel like you're failing in some way. And I hate that feeling.

Who could make the most babies for the village? Who could watch the pot boil? Who could take care of the kids? It all leads itself to do they have the hip to waist ratio that suggests they can carry more children? You want to get mad and think it's so vapid for men to assess us that way. And yeah, I appreciate you saying it's because I was a man and I was able to shift like that. I never arrived.

Who could make the most babies for the village? Who could watch the pot boil? Who could take care of the kids? It all leads itself to do they have the hip to waist ratio that suggests they can carry more children? You want to get mad and think it's so vapid for men to assess us that way. And yeah, I appreciate you saying it's because I was a man and I was able to shift like that. I never arrived.

Who could make the most babies for the village? Who could watch the pot boil? Who could take care of the kids? It all leads itself to do they have the hip to waist ratio that suggests they can carry more children? You want to get mad and think it's so vapid for men to assess us that way. And yeah, I appreciate you saying it's because I was a man and I was able to shift like that. I never arrived.

I was like, I just have to keep pursuing being hot or talented in some way, which I wasn't talented. That was the other thing I didn't find because I wasn't able to get big and loud and funny. because I didn't want people to go, well, you're also ugly. That wasn't an option to be big. So I just waited till I found a talent and I didn't have one until I started stand-up comedy.

I was like, I just have to keep pursuing being hot or talented in some way, which I wasn't talented. That was the other thing I didn't find because I wasn't able to get big and loud and funny. because I didn't want people to go, well, you're also ugly. That wasn't an option to be big. So I just waited till I found a talent and I didn't have one until I started stand-up comedy.