Olivia Fox Cabane
speaker
140 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jul 2026
last heard 23 Jul
Olivia Fox Cabane’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.
Appearances
And the really interesting thing is that that was self-judgment, self-directed coldness, but the other person doesn't know that.
All they know is that while you were looking at them, listening to them, and presumably thinking about them, they accurately read criticism, coldness, and judgment on your face.
So naturally, they're going to assume it's about them.
The other thing it's gonna do is that our brain is pretty terrible at understanding the difference between imagination and reality.
And this is the reason why when you go watch a horror movie, even though you know it's just a movie, your brain sees blood and guts on the screen, you still get the fight or flight, you still get the adrenaline, et cetera.
So when you get internal attacks, it registers in your brain and it has some of the same impact as a real attack would have.
And so interestingly, the most important tool
to increase self-confidence is actually self-compassion, the ability to forgive yourself when you mess up.
So for me, it's been really interesting over the past decade, how often working with guys who wanted the big macho energy, we actually had to go through the soft forgiveness energy to get there.
And the second way is understanding that your brain thinks that it's giving you an accurate picture of reality.
Often it's not.
Your brain is doing its very best.
But if you've ever heard of the gorilla basketball study, when a group of students were told to count the number of passes that two teams made, and then after a few minutes, the researchers asked them, did you notice anything unusual about the video?
And the students said, no, but we can tell you how many times they passed the ball.
Turns out about halfway through the game, a woman dressed in a gorilla suit walked onto the court, waved her arms at the camera, and then walked off court again.
And the reason most of the students missed this is called inattentional blindness.
Our brain does its best, but it has to filter.
And so sometimes it gives us a completely distorted picture of reality.
So remembering that just because a thought is in your head does not mean it is accurate can help in separating from the inner critic or the imposter syndrome that you can sometimes have.
Understand that it's a natural, normal part of the human experience.
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